Life Without Them (On Hold)

Chapter 12: Debts Paid

**Thank you all for the birthday wishes! Enjoy Nathan getting what's coming to him!**

Nathan

Stupid, stupid stupid! So fucking stupid! How the hell could I say something like that to her!? Where the fuck is my brain to mouth filter when I need it!?

Not like that would've done much good...I still thought it. And technically it's true. Those kids aren't mine. You can easily tell their Gabe's and Vic's, but they're not mine. They don't know me. I haven't even been around them a full day and already I have them crying. That's not a father. Not a good one anyway.

Fuck!

Chugging down my third beer, I continue to wallow in my self induced pity party.

There's no way they'll let me back around those kids after what I said. Sang'll never speak to me again, not that I can really blame her. I was a complete bastard to her, and why? Because she hurt my pride. Fucking shit, that's stupid!

Reaching down for another bottle, I'm slightly blinded by the headlights turning into the overlook. After leaving Sang's place, I looked up secluded places nearby on Google, and it directed me to this overlook point off the highway. It gives a really nice view of the city, and it's the perfect place to just be alone and wallow in self pity.

Please just let whoever it is keep driving!

Nope! No such luck. The fucker just parked. The engine turns off and the world is dark again as whoever it is gets out of the car and walks over to me.

Should've figured one of my brothers would come out here to find me. Wonder which one they sent?

Looking over my shoulder as he sits down, I'm shocked to see Axel. I almost wish it was one of my brothers instead, but Axel's always been one of the calmer ones. I'd be more worried if they sent Raven.

"You don't have to say anything, Axel, I know I fucked up." I say before he can say anything.

"Oh?" he chuckles. "You think you fucked up? That's funny. You have no idea how royally screwed you are."

"I kno-"

"Shut up!" he cuts me off. "You had your time to talk. It's my turn. This Sang you just pissed off? She's nothing like the Sang you left back in Charleston, if you haven't already figured that out. She's not the same girl that would do anything to keep you guys happy, and gets uncomfortable when there's fighting. Hell, most of the time, she's the one arguing. Because that's how we trained her. You all babied her, and when you left, we put her back together and made her stronger than ever. We gave her the thick skin she needed to be able to make it in this world, and when the twins came, she found the perfect balance. She is the perfect mix of strength and love, and you just...you just couldn't stop your hot headed nature."

"I know she's not the same!" I tell him. "That girl back there is not the same girl I fell in love with."

"No, she's not. She's better. And if all of you would get your heads out of your asses for five seconds, and try to get to know the new her, you might've actually stood a chance at getting her back."

"Who says we want her back?" I mumble.

He's quiet for a minute before replying, "I'm going to do you a favor and pretend that's the beer talking."

"What are you even doing here, Axel? Huh? Why are you here? If she's so much better the way she is now, why are you here? Why aren't you back there with her? Why haven't you been with her? Not man enough to be with a woman with kids that's not yours?"