He's what I need

The apology - chapter 7

It's raining, it's not heavy but it's still raining, why is it whenever there is a problem, it always rains. I knock loudly on Grey's door. It's been three weeks since we were in the woods. Since I turned him down. Now I'm standing here trying to fix things. I knock again, he better answer or I'm going to kick the door down, just then

"Ohhh, hey" Grey answer the door

"hey" I whisper waving at him "can I come in?" I ask quietly, he pushes the door open

"since when do you ask" he chuckles, I step past him into his house and walk in to his living room "so what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" I don't answer him, I sit down and sigh "what's wrong?" he's showing concern, he should be angry, maybe his right, maybe he is cool with me,

"I just" I start but I can't find the right words, to explain how I'm feeling, this is wrong

"you don't need to say anything; I know why you're here"

"do you?" I ask, I look at him, he looks tired like he hasn't been sleeping, that makes two off us

"you want to know if we are okay" he states sitting down on the edge off his coffee table that's in front of me "are we?" he asks. I sit in silence not sure if I should answer, we haven't talked, we haven't even seen each other "you seem to be avoiding me" he's now looking at me, his green eyes are trying to read me, trying to see if I am okay "look jade, you can't keep this up, eventually you'll have to get past whatever this is" he smirks while gesturing to all of him, I laugh, really laugh.

"you're so full of yourself" I push him, still laughing

"see we are okay"

"Grey?" I move from my seat to the window "I didn't mean, you know" I wave my hands around trying to suggest that night, I watch as he comes to stand beside me, he grabs both my hands and there is that feeling again, the one of belonging "please don't make this any harder" I say crying, I try to move my hands from his grip, this isn't meant to happen, this can't happen. He's staring at me, like really staring at me. I can't breathe or it feels like I can't

"jade, why is this so hard for you"

"we can't do this"

"why not" he whispers into my ear, I inhale sharply. He smells so good; I close my eyes scared of my reply but I don't say anything. He's lips crash into my, the electricity shoots through me. Our lips move in sync with each other getting faster and faster. Then it's over as fast as it started. He leans is forehead against mine, I open my eyes to see that his are shut. That was intense, it felt right.

"why is it so hard for you to accept, that we are just right for each other" he says stepping back still holding on to my hands, I don't say anything "you should stay the night" I still don't say anything trying to move past the fact that he just kissed me and I let him "say something" he insists

"okay" I answer aware that whatever this is, I am not going to stop wanting him to kiss him now.

He leads me through the room and up the stairs to the door at the end of the corridor, he opens the last door we come to and we step into the room. His room. I look round, the bed in the middle with white bed spreads, two bedside units either side and a built in wardrobe with tv unit opposite the bed. The room is very clean, to clean. I let go off his hand and walk over to his bed.

I flop down, this bed is so comfy, I move so I'm laying completely flat, he has a good sense of comfort. I close my eyes. The tiredness creeping in

"you can have my bed; I'll stay in the spare room" I look at him to see if he is joking but he's not

"stay please" I whisper. Scared that he won't. my eyes still shut too tired to even open them but I listen to him move across the room, the bed dips where he has sat down