ymms drafts

ten step guide

"Yes, I am glad you remembered my name." Lauren smiles at her, keeping her gaze trained on the paper in front of Camila. She frowns at the drawing on it. "You're not a very good artist."

Camila frowns at her. "Did you just come over here to insult my work?"

"No," Lauren shakes her head, "it was just an observation. You're a lot better in history, I noticed that you got an A on the test."

"Okay..." Camila flicks to a different page in her sketchbook. "What did you want, then?"

"Oh, yes, I forgot," Lauren rocks on her heels, "I'd like to have your phone number. Please."

Camila frowns at her. "Why would I give you my phone number?"

"Because I asked for it," Lauren replies, "I would like to talk to you, and everything I read online said I should get your phone number, because apparently talking to people relies heavily on texting."

Camila scoffs. "I'm not giving you my phone number."

"Oh," Lauren deflates, "why not?"

Camila rolls her eyes. "Because one, I don't know you, two, you insulted my work, and three, you're fucking weird."

"I- oh," Lauren tries to ignore how hurt she feels, but she knows she's starting to cry. "I- I'm sorry. I won't- I won't bother you again if that's- if that's what you want."

"Of course it's what I want," Camila scoffs. "Why do you think I'm not giving you my number? Are you dumb or something?

At the word Camila used, dumb, Lauren bursts into tears and runs back to her desk, because she's not that. She's smart, she has a 5.0 GPA, and she's not stupid.

She decides that Camila isn't beautiful on the inside after all.

-

She doesn't talk to Camila again. She stays true to her word, and keeps away from her, ducking into empty classrooms when she sees the other girl coming in her direction.

She's upset that her plan failed, and she really doesn't know what she did wrong.

She's especially upset that Camila called her weird, because she's not that. Lots of people call her it, but her mom always promises her that she's not weird, she's just a little different, and that's okay. She just didn't think Camila would be one of the people to call her that.

She'd moved back to her original seats in all of her and Camila's shared classes, but when she walks into English literature and sees Camila in the spot next to her usual one, she doesn't know what to do. She starts to panic, because she'd promised Camila she'd leave her alone, but she can't move seats again, because that's always been her seat and she doesn't like changes in routine unless she plans them and everything is starting to get jumbled up and her head hurts and she feels like she can't breathe.

She wants to run but she can't make herself move other than to curl up in a tight ball in the slowly emptying hallway. People's conversations are all getting tangled up in one big mess and she can't think straight, because she feels like she's drowning in some sort of weird sensory pool that doesn't have a bottom or a surface.

Blindly, she reaches into her backpack and gets her Nala out, cuddling her to her chest and trying to calm down, but she doesn't know what she's going to do, because she can't change seats again but she promised she'd leave Camila alone.

She's surprised when she hears a voice close to her, and she doesn't know what to do. "Try to breathe, alright?"

Lauren whines, because she can't do that, it's too hard and her head is fuzzy and everything is wrong.