Dear Right Hand Man,
My autocorrect wanted to change dear to dead and, for once, autocorrect was correct. I miss you dearly, my right hand man. Every day Mrs. Hobbs asks me..."no best friend today?" and I look at my empty arm. "No. She is missing." I reply. I know you were eaten by you know who. She waited until you were crippled to gobble you up. I will never forget you. Kyle seems depressed when you are not there to poke his face. Oh how we all miss you. Gab Gab, please return to us.
-your left hand man
