Dauntless- A fanfic of Divergent

Timeless Chp. 3- Broken

Every part of me seems to break in that moment. Everything is just silent, and I can't breathe. Then it comes down. Zeke kissed someone else. He cheated. He's not mine anymore. I know he didn't start it. And I barely see it when he pushes her away. But he didn't stop it. Not for a few seconds. He didn't see it coming; and he certainly didn't stop her if he did. He may not have wanted to cheat, but somewhere inside, he was ok with it. And that's what breaks me. I choke back a sob. He pulls his shirt back on, leaving quickly. But I can't see past that kiss, replaying over and over again in my mind. I clap my hand over my mouth as her turns back toward the dorms. Tears start to sting my eyes. I love him. I really do. But maybe it's not the same anymore. Maybe he's bored; maybe I'm not good enough. I never thought I was. He was always to perfect, and I didn't know why he wasted his time with me. It just took until now for him to realize that. It's like I've been stabbed right through the chest. I've never really felt my heart break before. But I can see now why it's described that way. I just can't believe it. I don't blame him, necessarily, but it hurts. It hurts a lot. Shauna starts to storm out into the hallway, anger twisted on her face. I grab her arm, tears running down my face now "Please just don't. Just leave it." I whisper, still covering my mouth. I don't know what to do. Shauna takes a step back, glaring at the tattoo shop, where Tori stands staring out after Zeke, almost disappointed. She shouldn't be. She got what she wanted, right? She's always hated me. Now I know why. I can't think, I can't move. I'm just frozen, staring at that hallway. Shauna crosses her arms "Maybe I should go show that jerk how big of a mistake he's made." I shake my head, sobbing "Don't talk to him. Don't..." I trail off, shaking. I don't know how I should react. So I run. I just run, down the hallways, barefooted. Right back to my apartment, where I can fall apart alone.

Of course I don't sleep. I cry. And cry. I feel weak. I feel broken. And there's nothing I can do about it. I can't lose him. He is what keeps me together. He is what saved me during initiation. I love him. And I sure did think he loved me. Maybe he does. But I can't face that right now. It's easier to just let go of that hope. It's easier to believe that he doesn't want me. I'm not sure why. It hurts more when I think about having to see him again. But I know I will. I'll have to say something. I can't be without him. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about this. I see now, why Alex was so conflicted about leaving Tyson. No matter how much they hurt you, when you love someone, you really love them, regardless of what they do. You can't live without them. And I certainly cannot live without Zeke. He saved my life, in more ways than one. He is with me every day, almost every night. And I love him. I love him more than anything. I just didn't see how much until now. This hurts.

My eyes are red and there is makeup all over my pillow in the morning. I ache all over. But my heart hurts the most. I force myself to get up. I try to hide my tired face with makeup. I can't look weak, no matter how much I go through. I don't have to work today, thankfully. But I do have to eat, as much as I'm tempted not to. To just let myself waste away. But I can't leave that easily. I still love him. And I have to try to fix this.

I shamble into the dining hall, and Shauna is by my side almost immediately. "I have a shovel ready." She comments. I laugh a bit, shaking my head. "How are you even up?" I look at her. She should be pretty hung over, judging by her condition as of last night. She shrugs "Well my head hurts like hell, but I figured that could wait. You probably hurt more." I smile a bit, hoping she knows how much that means to me. "So..." she continues "What are you going to do?" I rub my face, sighing. "I really don't know." I say, my voice catching slightly. But I can't cry. Not here. So I bite my cheek hard. She makes an attempt to console me by rubbing my back, which I find pretty hilarious for some reason. I'm so emotionally worn out, everything is funny. Or upsetting. Something extraordinarily upsetting enters the room just about then. And I go quiet once again.

Shauna follows my gaze "Oh boy. Here we go." He starts to walk towards us, not smiling quite as bright as usual. His eyes meet mine, and almost immediately fill with concern. Figures he could tell when I'm upset. I almost start to cry again, and mentally punch myself. Then Shauna glares at him, and steers me the other way, putting an arm around my shoulders. I can't help but look back as we walk, blinking the tears back from my eyes. He just stands there in the middle of the hallway, shocked and confused. But I see a hint of recognition, and understanding. He knows that I somehow found out. I just wonder when he was planning on telling me.

We head down one of the empty hallways, and I start to breath harder in the attempt to keep myself from breaking down again. My hands shake, so I press them to my legs, balling them into fists. Then I hear another set of footsteps behind us, heavier than my own. "Cal? Shauna?" Zeke says from behind us, and I take a deep breath. This was going to happen eventually. Shauna spins around, still angry at him "What do you want?" she says bitterly. He stops, keeping his distance, and standing a few yards away from us, down the hallway. I turn slowly, not really trying to hide my red eyes anymore. He searches my eyes for something, almost pleading. "Shauna." I say quietly. She reluctantly backs off, still glaring. He takes a few steps forward, coming considerably closer to me. Every step feels like a ticking time bomb, counting down until when I might lose him. Shauna stands behind me like a guard. I look back at her, nodding slightly. She sighs reluctantly, and walks off, leaving me alone to talk to him. It's funny how we can communicate without words.

I turn back to Zeke, who is obviously pretty upset himself. Worried, confused, anxious. It's hard to look at him, because all I can see is that kiss. But I can't stop myself. He's like a magnet. And I can't keep myself away, as much as it may hurt. "What did I do to hurt you?" he asks, and looks straight into my eyes. And I know, right then, that I will never be able to leave him.

A/N: Da feeeeeeelllllllssssss.....anyways, if you enjoyed, slap dat vote button, leave a comment, and Stay Dauntless:)

-Argo