agust d - yoongi

six

"i miss her so much.like everything about her but i'm still not ready to come home.i want to be really ready on what will happend when i visit or meet her." i sighed.

"don't you feel ashamed that you follow the other members during your break ? you have home but refuse to go home and meet your parents" arya put down her spoon and gets really serious.

"everyone in the group knew what happend between me and mom,they told their parents so they didn't mind that much" i looked at the busy streets on my side.

"plus,i always meet up with dad secretly when i have the time.he understood me.he told me to come home when i'm really ready." i chuckled bitterly.

"are you afraid of mom scolding you again ?" she asked.

"no,i'm afraid that i'm going to hurt her again.i still remember how she looked at me when she found out i was a trainee in big hit.those hurtful eyes,i don't want to see them again." i stare at the food infront of me,suddenly losing my appetite.

"don't you think not visiting her,call her,text her makes her hurt more than before ?you never reached up on her after that happend." arya raised her voice a bit.

my body starts to feel slump as guilty rushed all over my blood.i slowly look up at arya,seeing her looking at me with a concern but firery eyes.

i take a deep breath and close my eyes."i promise you,i will come home after this comeback" i peek one eye as the words roll off my tongue slowly,just to find arya smiling at me.

"i'm sure mom is going to be so hype up to see you" arya claps once and chuckles.she motion me to continue eating as she saw me still not moving after the conversation end.

my heart starts thudding again at the thought of going back home.why am i scared when i'm supposed to feel joy about it ?

-

yoongi

i stepped inside the dorm,being greeted by dead serious faces from the members who were sitting in the living room.nothing serious was happening,they were just playing some game they got addicted to.

"oh hyung! come and join us! we killed a mob of zombies just now!!" jungkook exclaimed excitedly as i walked passed the living room.all attentions are on me now except for taehyung and jungkook,still continuing on their hunt.

"i'm tired." i shook my head slightly and was about to enter my bedroom but then i heard jimin saying "wait" as i turned to see jimin is already infront of me.

"arya gave me this,she told me to give it to you." jimin tilted his head a bit as he gave me an envelope.

i took it with a 'thanks' hands gesture and get inside my room.i dropped all of my things on the floor and put the envolope on my night stand and throws my body on the comfy bed.

i suddenly recalled the conversation between pd-nim and me.

"what?! are you really serious?! you caused trouble for the group and now you just want to leave the mess just like that?!" pd-nim yelled as i told him about leaving the group.

"that's the problem.with the group,problems getting bigger and we will go to level 0.without the group,i do any shit i want without damaging the image of the group,the group will be brighter" i raised my eyebrows as pd-nim's widen eyes glared at me.

"you leaving the group will be more worse.this shit can be fix,yoongi.you're genius,think" pd-nim looking frustated.

"people easily forget.who cares if i quit the group,they will like it even more probably you will enjoy because there's no more 'parasite' in this group and company" i flicked my tongue then smirked when pd-nim glared at me.

"but bts won't forget.they cared about you,yoongi.they do this because they loved you." pd-nim looking so hopeless begging to me.

"please think about it again yoongi." the last word i heard from pd-nim before i left his room.

"i'm fucked up" i sighed.closing my eyes,absorbing all the sounds i could to ease the thoughts on my mind.

hearing the cheers and laugthers from the living room eventhough it's really late night somehow clears the clouds of thoughts and suprisingly makes me snores in just a sec.

should i really quit ?

-

a/n: after million years,i came back with a crappy update.i'm really sorry i couldnt keep up with a fast update.will you guys forgive me ? :'(

maybe the next update will be late too because im like really busy with school.i hope you guys understand and stay with me.thank you for those who waited for this.please continue sticking with me and i love you guysss!!!!! ♡♡♡