If You Dare To Believe

Chapter 30

“Don’t leave me” I said, he stared at me and walked right back to me.

“Never” he said and slides behind me, and felt his slowly wrapping around me.  He slides the covers over me as he noticed me shaking. It was mid December so it was freezing, “I don’t understand…why is this happening to me?” I finally said after a long silence. He leans near my ear, “That’s life, we are not suppose to understand it…we’re suppose to survive it”

“Life has already shattered me by taking away my sister, now I’m crazy.” This was the first time I have mentioned Dakota to Mason.

“You’re not crazy…that’s your away of escaping reality” he said removing strand of hair out of my face.

“How do you escape reality?” I asked curiously. He was quiet, I was tangling my fingers with his and then I noticed the scars on his wrist.  They looked stitched and they were all over his arms, I never noticed them since always wore long sleeved shirts or hoodies. I was tried not to gasp but they looked like they were deep if they needed stitched. I was so caught up in my world never looking around me, “I used to do that, but I stopped” he said after noticing my silence.

“After my mother took her life away, I felt like…liked I was nothing. Misunderstood, confused and scared. Nobody understood what was I going through even though they tried too but failed.” His voice was monotone. “I’m sorry” I said feeling bad but in the same time I felt better because it wasn’t something about me. It was a distraction that I needed.

“I am not going to say her death was unexpected but it was too soon…” he said I felt him getting a bit tensed up, I gave his hand a squeeze trying to making him feel secure like he makes me feel.

“Being alcoholic and mother wasn’t the best combination, corrupted her marriage life leaving her and dad to file for divorce. It wasn’t bad at first, but then the arguments with my older sister Rebecca was getting worse day by day till Rebecca decide to live with dad. Leaving me with mom, my mom got horribly depressed that Rebecca left and was constantly scared I would leave her. She tried her hardest to be the best mother which she was but one night things got too much…the bills were piling up, she lost her job and there was custody battle going on between her and dad. She took a bunch of pills and poured herself a drink. She left saying she loves me so but she had to go.” I felt his voice choke up, this was the first time Mason told me any of this. He was so secretive but he was suffering as well. He was hurting, I knew that feeling… that pain

I turn to face him and I saw tears on his beautiful face, tears streamed down my face as well. I couldn’t help crying, tears were like tsunami waves in my eyes.  I cupped my hands on his jaw line, and was staring at eyes that reflected the pain that I was feeling.  We were both crying by then, I slowly leaned forward and kissed his cheek. I don’t know why I did it, but it was like kissing his tears away.

“You understand.” He said and I nodded. He pulled me closer holding me tightly providing me with that sense of security that I forever longed.

“I understand…I do” I whispered before drifting to sleep       

  

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