Silver Spoons (Kellic)

Chapter Seven

All I wanted was to be avoided, I don't want anyone to look at me or breathe by me I just wanted to be alone. Like always. I was so, so embarrassed about my burst of anger then downpour of tears towards Kellin. I basically told him I was going to kill myself, and I think he really believed me. The last thing I need is an asshole helicoptering me everyday, thinking I'm suicidal so he suddenly cares. Going to school is where I'll find out if he'll do that for me, which I doubt to be perfectly honest. Hopefully due to the dramatic events of yesterday everything would be suffocatingly awkward, I was right like always because I then heard Kellin leave. I could so easily fake coming down with a sickness but I may act like I don't care about school I actually really care about school, even when it puts me under a lot of stress.

Lately I haven't had much of an appetite, Mrs. Quinn has been too busy to notice. She started working longer hours and I only see her in the morning for her to drive me to hell, I mean school. Then since Jordan is no longer around to give me rides home she hired a chauffeur. Now I see her around 6 o'clock same as Mr. Quinn but he leaves earlier. She mentioned that she may have to begin working earlier shifts for work so I would have to rely on the chauffeur more for transportation. I'm not really sure what occupations they have but it must be hard work if they have to work so much. I wonder how that affects Kellin, not having his parents around much, it must be terribly lonely. Wait, no I don't care, I don't.

I don't need to worry about how I'm getting to school when everyday I wish somehow we never arrive but, we always do.

I walked up the white stone steps of the school as slowly as I could, inhaling and exhaling deeply before walking in. Jordan wasn't there to greet me or walk me to class and he wouldn't be there tomorrow or the next day and it feels like he died. It feels like I died, it would of been easier to say goodbye if I didn't have such a big crush on him. No matter what though I hate goodbyes their too sad.

I didn't bring anything that I needed to put away in my locker because I didn't want to stop for anything just go to all my classes as quickly as I can. If they didn't allow backpacks or bags in class I would have carried all my books in my hands. My first period was with Kellin, maybe he would skip. If I wasn't such a good student I would but, even the warning bell makes me nervous about being possibly tardy or having anything negative on my student file. I've never been late a day in my life.

I was first in class, I was seated by the pencil sharpener and trash can in the back of the class and other desks were just in front of me none by my sides or behind me.

All the students started to pile in and when Kellin was one of them I started to think how many times I could stab myself with this pen before dying. He glanced at me for a second and I couldn't really read his expression, I started to miss that scowl he always had when he saw me. Thankfully he sat in the front of the class about three rows away from me.

In the middle of the teachers explanation of next weeks lesson plans for our upcoming project ( a pretty big project), Kellin left his seat and started walking to the back of the class and turned towards my seat. He then stood beside me facing the pencil sharpener but before he started to sharpen his pencil he placed a small folded piece of paper of my notebook. He acted normally sharpening his just recently broken pencil. I just looked at him with a tired expression because I just didn't really want to try anymore, he left returning to his seat before I decided to open his stupid note. When I read it, sighing It was the dumbest question I've ever read:

'you okay?'

In small sloppy handwriting, not even a full sentence. I looked at the back of his head from my seat until he turned to look at me. When he did I ripped his note and crumbled it throwing it in the trash can beside me where it belonged and without breaking eye contact. Then I faced the front and pretended to listen to the teachers lesson. The nerve he had I swear, I bet he gets off on this. Tormenting people in different ways and believing it is perfectly ok to do it, because you know what I'm not ok. I'm not ok at all, what he did was not ok and I hope he realizes that one day.