TAMPONS | PHAN

thirteen; november

"I have the water," said a voice and Dan looked up to see Phil enter the room with a large glass of water in his hand. Seconds later, the door opened again to reveal Charlie who rushed towards the bed where Mitch was stroking a pillow while whispering to himself.

"Is he okay?" he asked looking at Mitch. A small line of worry had appeared in between his eyebrows as he stared at Mitch.

"Just a little drunk," answered Dan. "Do you want me to stay and help?"

"I think I have it covered," said Charlie taking the glass of water from Phil.

"I'll come back in a bit to check on him," Dan assured before tugging on Phil's arm, dragging him back towards the middle of the party.

They grabbed drinks, proceeding to join the dance floor. Dan chugged half of his drink, wincing at the sharp tang of the alcohol. He needed a bit of fun. With the university applications' deadline coming up, his constant worry about his Dad and his exhausting job as well as the slight tension with Phil, he needed a bit of fun.

Dan couldn't quite make out which song was playing over the speakers, the words incomprehensible over the chatter of the party. All he could hear was the bass, pumping through the speakers. Dan snaked through the crowd leading Phil – he still hadn't let go of his arm – to the middle of the dance floor. He was jostled back and forth by the swaying drunk dancers on either side of him; he didn't quite mind, joining them in their movements.

He grinded against Phil, moving his hips in some sexy movement that he had spent a whole summer learning with Mitch, locked up in his bedroom when they were fourteen. Phil swayed along a little, but after while Dan could sense he wasn't too enthusiastic. Stopping mid-dance – bumping into three people in the process – Dan turned to face Phil, who was wearing an expression that resembled a frown.

"What's wrong?" Dan asked concerned by Phil's behaviour. Phil tapped his ear, signalling he couldn't hear what Dan was saying over the loud music. Rather than shout over the music Dan indicated for Phil to follow him, weaving up through the crowd and up the stairs past couples who were plastered closely together pressed up against the stairwell, arriving finally at Mitch's room.

Dan ushered Phil in and locked the door behind him. The music was slightly muffled by the closed door, quiet enough for them to talk without straining their voices. "What's wrong?" asked Dan, looking at Phil who was brushing his fingers along Mitch's dresser-top as he looked at all the assembled photo frames that were placed haphazardly over the surface. Dan was in 90% of them, with photos of him and Mitch as ten year olds near the back until now, the most recent a photo of Dan carrying Mitch bridal style as Charlie laughed in the background, it had been from the night of the bonfire.

"Nothing..." said Phil absent-mindedly, picking up a frame near the back. He glanced up for a second, as though he had felt Dan's eyes burning into the back of his head. "I – I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me. I... I thought we had agreed not to do that anymore," Dan said, walking closer to Phil, who sighed and placed the photo back in its spot. It was of thirteen-year-old Mitch and Dan, in their full-on preteen awkwardness. Dan was hanging upside down from a tree branch, shirtless with paint streaked over his chest and Mitch was holding onto his out-stretched hands, his right leg raised out behind him. Dan remembered that day, it had been the first time he had laughed that much since the death of his mother.

"I..." Phil started, he took a deep breath. "I don't want to ruin whatever... whatever this is," he added at last. Dan grabbed Phil's cheek, turning Phil's face gently towards him.

"Hey..." Dan said softly. "I think we need to talk about this too, and I don't want to ruin what's between us either. If it makes you feel better I'll start," he added and Phil glanced up at Dan briefly his blue eyes connecting with Dan's.

"In June..." Dan started. "I was a major dickhead," he continued and Phil gave a dry laugh. "Not only to you, but to everyone around me. There was a lot going on in my life and I took it out on you which wasn't fair... For that I am truly sorry," finished Dan, grabbing Phil's hand which hung loosely by his side.

Phil whooshed out a long breath of air. He looked up at Dan, his eyes showing a sadness that had been present for the past month. "Dan... I went home. I saw my parents again."

Dan's eyes widened. "Y-You weren't in the United States?" he asked, feeling slightly betrayed that Phil had kept this secret for a month and that Pj had lied to him.

"No, God no. Only for the last two weeks of September," said Phil.

"And?" asked Dan, dying of curiosity.

"I went back to my parents looking to forgive them, willing to give them another chance... I should have known how stupid that was," said Phil, ducking his head to hide his tears. Dan squeezed his hand tightly. "It pretty much was the worst experience of my life. I don't think... they'll ever talk to me again," said Phil his voice breaking. "I-I said really awful things, Dan."

"Shhh.... Everything will be okay now; you have me, you'll always have me," said Dan, taking Phil into his arms. As they stood there in Mitch's room wrapped in each other's embrace, Dan vowed to himself to keep that promise for the rest of his life.

--

i found my usb key!

hey soz this is a short ass chapter but the story is coming to an end and i want to save certain things to the end of the book.  i can't believe it's already december! wowza this book has been such a journey...

i hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, it wasn't my favourite to write because it's sort of bland but eh it's the denoument sooooo this kind of has to happen. 

also cold hands, the figure skating! dan and hockey player! phil is up!!!! i'm really excited for that book, i've written about four chaps so far and uploaded the first two sooo the next update for that book will come after tamps is over. 

rach.