Lauren Jauregui Imagines (Lauren/You)

She's not me.

"What was that babe?" Lauren called out from the kitchen. 

"Nothing!" I said, and she came out with a toast filled with Nutella. 

~~

(flashback is still on, but it's a different period of time) 

I saw them. I saw them kiss. She loves Lucy, not me. I should've seen this coming; well, I actually did, but I thought she would say something to me instead of cheating on me. 

But that doesn't matter anymore. The love of my life just fell out of love with me, and I have no response to that. I never thought this would happen. We were so happy; where did I go wrong? What does she have that I don't? 

She looked so happy with her though. We need to break up for the sake of her happiness. I'm keeping her caged inside a relationship that she doesn't want to be in; she needs to be set free, and I'm going to do that. 

I walked up to Lauren. 

"Hey babe!" she said with an elegant smile on her face.

"We need to break up."

"Wha-?" 

"We need to break up. I saw you and Lucy kiss earlier. She makes you happy, and I don't." 

"But-" 

"I'm sorry that I wasn't enough Lauren. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep you happy. Goodbye, Lauren." 

~flashback ends. 

"I'm happy for her," I said out loud, just to reassure myself. Maybe I would believe the words I was speaking, but I knew I wasn't. 

I'm selfish. I want her. She's everything to me, as much as I try to pretend that I'm happy for her new love and her; I'm not. She was mine. Does she even compare to me?

Does she make you laugh the way I make you laugh? Do your eyes sparkle when she walks into the room? Does she hold you like I did? Does she wake you up by peppering kisses all over your face? Does she do all the little, cute things I would do for you? Does she play with your hair? Does cup your face ever so gently? Does she love you like I did? Does she? Does she do anything as well as I did? 

She may be happy with her, but I know one thing.

She's not me. 

Lauren's POV

"Hey beautiful" Lucy said when she greeted me. 

I faked a smile at her and said, "Hey." 

She smiled back at me and went to go watch TV. She didn't even notice that, that wasn't my genuine smile. She would've noticed. She would've known right away. 

Why did I have to throw it all away? 

"No, bad Lauren," I reminded myself. I'm happy with Lucy. She's everything to me. She motivates me to do better. She's so perfect for me. She loves me. 

But I know that deep down inside, I'm not happy with her. No matter how hard I try to deny it, she would never, ever be like (Y/N).

She didn't hold me like (Y/N) did. She didn't love me like (Y/N) did. She didn't make me laugh as hard as (Y/N) did. She didn't kiss me like (Y/N) did. She didn't notice small, little details that (Y/N) did. She didn't take me on little, spontaneous dates like (Y/N) did. She just couldn't compare to her; (Y/N) is the love of my life, but I screwed it up.

(Y/N) made me want to do better for not only myself, but for her and for others. She saw the good in me and always pushed me to be the best version of myself. The best version of myself is when I'm with her. Whenever I think about her and how I messed up, tears come naturally, and I can't help it. She was mine, but she is no longer mine. The mere thought of that made my heart break. The clenching feeling that your heart makes when your heart breaks; that's how I feel when I think of her. 

I should've stopped her from walking away, but I stood there like the dumb idiot I am. I didn't even scream or shout. I didn't run after her, and I regret that so much. If I could go back in time, I would change everything, but sadly I can't. She'll never be mine again, and I have to accept that. She deserves someone better than me. Someone who will give her their full undivided attention. Someone that will give her unconditional love. 

She's probably happy with someone else now; she probably never even thinks about it. 

Even though I seem happy on the outside, I want her to know. 

She's not you, and she'll never be.

hoped you guys liked it. I wanted to make Lauren's part longer, but I needed to wrap it up quickly. I may re-update this later with a better and longer Lauren POV. 

till next time

-brokenbyfeelsss