Beautiful When You Don't Try (Camren)

Chapter 15

However, once they opened the studio in New York and Lauren began seeing Camila's posters and interviews, and hearing about her constantly, those old emotions came flooding back and she began to fall out of love with her assistant because of her regrets. Adrianne saw it happening and left before she could get hurt. However, her leaving didn't stop her love for Lauren. She held a true passion for the photographer that she tried to rekindle at Camila's photo shoot, but Lauren couldn't lead her on anymore. She already felt guilty enough for wasting the last three years of the woman's life on something that she should have acted on sooner.

"Had Camila not returned your feelings, would you go back to Adrianne?" Lauren saw this coming but Camila didn't. The diva's eyes widened, never having considered what would have happened if she had denied Lauren's love.

The raven haired woman took in a deep breath. "If Camila had no feelings for me and there was no chance of us being anything more than just friends, then I would have tried to work things out with Adrianne. I told you, what kept us apart were my feelings for Camila. If Camila didn't want me, then I would have no other choice but to try and move on from them. There is nothing wrong with Adrianne. Nothing preventing me from enjoying a relationship with her except that I have deeper feelings for Camila."

"So Adrianne is more your second choice?"

"Yes." Camila had heard that from Lauren's mouth before but it never seemed so certain as it did now, at least not to her ears. Lauren may have always meant it, but now Camila truly believed it.

Alejandro nodded in his acceptance. "Have you ever cheated on a partner?"

"In high school, but not in any of my mature relationships. I enjoy honest commitment and being secure with my partner. I'm not fond of secrets either."

"Should you and Camila have arguments like you had yesterday, would you turn to Adrianne for comfort?"

She shook her head. "Adrianne still holds feelings for me so I would not for many reasons. One, I would not put myself in the position to have her try and express those feelings any further than she already has. Two, I would not want to put her in the awkward position of having to listen to me discuss my relationship with another woman, knowing she has those feelings for me. And three, I would not want to give Camila any reason to doubt me."

There was a long pause this time. Lauren replayed her answer in her head to see if she had said something that would have up set him or given him a reason to delay his integration, but she couldn't find any. "Do you know what happened when Camila met her biological mother?" Everyone else at the table shifted in their surprise at the question. It was completely unexpected. "That her mother Ariana denied Camila the simplest connection because she wanted something else. That she ignored Camila's feelings for her own."

"I do." She didn't really know where he was going with this, but she answered anyway. She never approved of what Ariana had done. She knew that one day her daughter may look for her and she would never turn her back on the chance to get to know her in any capacity.

"Then why did you give her exactly what she wanted to replace Camila, allowing her to just walk away without any hesitation from this girl that you say love so much."

Lauren fought herself from getting upset. He was throwing so many pieces together without even seeing if they fit. He was twisting things. She took a moment to sip her now cold coffee to calm down. "At that time, I didn't have feelings for Camila. My mind was so wrapped up with all of the other struggles I had going on that my feelings for women were nonexistent in comparison. You have to take that out of the picture."

"No I don't." He cut her off with a harsh tone, pissing her off in the process. "You knew Camila. Spent every day at school with her. Extra hours practicing for the singing club. You were there when she first met her mother. You knew Camila. You knew what she was feeling, but you did it anyway." Camila sat facing her father, making certain not to move as she was interested in the question and didn't want to scare the raven haired out of answering it in fear of hurting her feelings.