Potter's Field

Chapter Six/Part Two: Stimulating Conversation

“I’m surprised at your restraint.  I would expect to also be, ah, ‘encased’ in jell-o with more fatal effects than those being experienced by my butler.”  Mars flicked a speck of dust off his coverlet before refolding his hands.

Chuckling, the man leaned his chair back until it only stood on two legs.  Placing another tic-tac on his tongue, he swallowed carefully, keeping unreadable eyes on Mars.  “I wouldn’t do that to you, Mars.  No, our confrontation will be more…personal.”  He grinned.  “Besides I wanted to enjoy some stimulating conversation.  You can imagine that there aren’t many on my level, none who inspire quick wit and cleverness.”

“Yes, I can well imagine.  Of course, there aren’t any who should ever consider themselves on my level.”  Mars stared pointedly at the man who only chuckled again.

“Yes, well, perhaps your level of wit has improved somewhat since I last saw you, but your, uh, predicament certainly hasn’t.  So in one sense, you are correct.”  The man paused and leaned forward with a predatory grin.  “No one is on your level of helplessness, especially in the current situation in which you find yourself.”  He leaned back again and selected a new tic-tac to once again perform the annoying routine of placing it carefully on his tongue before swallowing. 

Mars barely stopped himself from scowling.  His face, thankfully, stayed perfectly blank, but his mind seethed with thoughts of retribution.  He hated to think that the man was right.  But from his evaluation, he was quite at a disadvantage in these circumstances.  However, that didn’t necessarily mean he was helpless. 

            “So, what do you want?”  Mars asked, annoyance leaking out in his tone even if it didn’t show on his face.  He hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep yet to deal with this type of problem.

            “Ah, Mars, after all these years, you’d think patience would be your greatest virtue.”  Mars raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.  The man chortled and placed another tic-tac on his tongue, leaning back in his chair.  “I think you know what I want?”

            “No, I can’t say that I do.” 

            Frowning, his forehead wrinkling in confusion, the man swallowed his tic-tac before saying, “I’d think it was obvious.  Revenge would be the obvious notion, but you know what I really want.  Why else would I ever want to see you again?”  Mars kept his face blank even as he felt a twinge of confusion.  Again? 

The man shook his head.  “No?  Well, that’s a trifle disappointing.  Memory gone with age?”  It was so reminiscent of what Silver had said to him earlier that Mars couldn’t help smiling.  The man smiled back and folded his hands, finally stopping his incessant tic-tac consumption.  “Let me enlighten you.  I want...”  He paused, perhaps for dramatic effect, though the only effect it had on Mars was to overwhelm him with the urge to roll his eyes.  He was resisting quite admirably.  “...the secret of immortality.”  The man nodded sagely, his mouth in a somber line, until he opened it to place another tic-tac on his tongue. 

            Mars could no longer resist rolling his eyes.  “Seriously?  Can’t you people figure out something else unattainable that you can go after?  I think the whole ‘immortality’ search has been done too many times to make that declaration seem fresh.  If you want to escape death so much, go let a vampire bite you or become a draug.  As I can help you with neither, I think it best you leave.”

            The man threw his head back and laughed, a long, loud, highly irritating laugh.  “Oh, Mars, I’m shocked at your lack of knowledge!” 

Mars scowled at that statement.  His lack of knowledge?  Did this man seriously think Mars didn’t know anything about immortality?  He’d done his own search back in his hey-day, and found it as silly a dream as world domination. 

            Eyes narrowed, Mars forced out through clenched teeth, “And just what do I not know of that you are so clearly informed?”

            The man tutted, shaking a finger at Mars.  “You think the secret to immortality lies with vampires and draugar when, clearly, they were botched attempts.”

“Clearly,” Mars said dryly.

“Yes, vampires live centuries at best, and a well-placed stake can end their lives long before that.  Draugar may ‘live’ forever, but they are mindless and still quite vulnerable to beheadings and burnings.”

            The tone of lecture did not sit well with Mars who folded his arms and said, “Well, I’m sure you could live long enough as either a vampire or draug to get sick of immortality.  Try it and see.”  He waved a hand dismissively, but the man merely chuckled.

            “My dear boy, I don’t want to live forever.”

            Mars started at him incredulously.  “Really,” he said, his tone disbelieving. 

“Of course!”  The man looked shocked that Mars didn’t seem to understand this.

Pursing his lips, Mars gritted out, “Well, then why search for immortality?” 

            The man leaned forward, his eyes sparking, his entire face animated.  “For the discovery!  For as long as man has been, so we have searched for the cure to our oldest foe – death!  Yet our efforts have only brought about such failed attempts as vampires and draugar.”     

            “Probably for good reason.  Immortality is an impossible dream.”  Mars paused and raised a thoughtful hand to his chin.  “Perhaps even a deadly dream.”

            The man shook his head, tittering.  “Ah, Mars, you’re simply delightful.  Yes, simply delightful.  As delightful as I remember.  It’s a shame I have to kill you after all this,” he waved his hand around as if to indicate everything around them and continued, “especially since I so wanted to show you the fruits of my labors.  Vengeance may be sweet, but it is a messy business.”

            Mars merely watched him, a slightly bored expression on his face.  He shook his head carefully, a half smile on his face.  “Yes, truly a shame.  More of a shame that I cannot help you with your quest.  I’m clearly not immortal.”

The man giggled, rocking back and forth like a child.  “No, you are not, but you know something, and I’ll have quite a bit of fun digging it out of your head.”  He seemed to suddenly remember his box of tic-tacs in his palm and looked at it with a confused expression.  He shook the empty tic-tac box as if he were sure he hadn’t just eaten them all, his smile fading suddenly.  Tossing the box, he made it disappear before it hit the ground and pulled another box of tic-tacs out of the air, this time orange.

Mars couldn’t help smiling at the antics before him.  “I believe you’re quite insane, good sir,” he folded his arms, raising an eyebrow.

            The man grinned before swallowing another tic-tac.  “Why, thank you for noticing.  It should make things much easier.”

            Both were silent as the man chose another tic-tac, placed it on his tongue and swallowed delicately.

            Mars’ arm shot out suddenly, grabbing his cane from his bedside table, but the man had already appeared there, grabbing the cane at the same time.  “Can’t let you have that, now,” he grinned, his fingers rising up to touch Mars’ forehead. 

Mars ducked, pulled himself from the bed, and elbowed the man in the stomach, twisting his body to the right to give him enough leverage to yank the cane free from the man’s grip, making him stumble back into the nightstand.  Glancing one more time at the man’s surprised face, Mars smiled, saluted and dematerialized.