The Art of Love & War

A Decent Cup Of Tea

What I've written before, is all the build up to present time. So please, if you feel like I'm trying to speed things along, I apologize, but it's what I'm trying to do. But I might add in a few chapters to even everything out in the future. But for now, what you have is what you get.

So enjoy! :)

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[A Few Years Later, Before the Fall of Maria]

A few years have passed ever since the trio joined. High hopes for the three were in everyone, whether they cared to admit it or not. They each possessed a skill not every soldier might have in them. But Levi was the only one who possessed every skill not every soldier might have in their whole being.

But unfortunately for Ackerman, his two companions, Church and Magnolia, didn't make it quite as far as he had.

They both died on their very first expedition, as I had heard, and seen for myself. They were both placed on the same squad as Levi. But alas, the only two people he considered close family got chomped on by the beasts. Not only them, but his entire squad as well. They all didn't make it.

He was the lone survivor.

And he'd blamed it all on himself. Probably thinking that the things he's done were unforgivable. The lives he could've managed to save were unforgettable. All the things he's done. Now he knows. And I feel damn sorry for the poor man. We may need the soldiers. But I don't want any more people having to experience what he'd experienced that day. No one needs to go through anything so traumatizing.

Though he didn't show it, I knew he was absolutely, positively crushed deep inside. Who wouldn't be? That cold demeanor of his didn't faze me. Lots of people who've come and gone used the same one, so I saw through it easily. Church and Magnolia must have been with him for a very long time, because Ackerman didn't seem to be the most approachable type. Not a lot of people were, if they came right from the Underground. So I can only imagine the pain of losing people you had such strong bonds with. Especially if it happens right before your very eyes.

We all knew that people always come and go, but he refused to socialize. In matter of fact, he became even more reserved, if the people who tried to talk to him weren't either Erwin, or Mike. Though, I can perfectly understand why. Getting close to anyone, or forming any bonds or connections only mean more emotional pain when you eventually lose them on the battlefield.

I've been going to my meals a lot more often. Sometimes Erwin drags me. And sometimes it's Hange. And on rare occasions, Mike practically carries me all the way there and seats me at the table as if I were a child. If children ever decided to attempt to punch or kick you to death.

Levi has also started seating with us after his mourning of his friends' deaths. Of course, it confused me at first, but then I realized that he has absolutely no one left. Only the few people we had at our table had tried to get Levi to join in, while others were still rather weary of his presence. But if it might help with the pain, then I won't question it. So I left it alone.

Me and Ackerman didn't really talk much, despite the bit of conflict we used to have. But we exchanged silent greetings ever so often, I guess. Nothing particularly friendly, but more of civilized.

But then there were the times where we'd both start cursing at each other, and the only times when we'd ever try to hold a conversation together for more than five minutes all backfired. It was like fighting a snowstorm with a wildfire. You really didn't know who would come out at the top.

But if anything, it was better than having to put up with Hange. Because when you're with her, that woman never ceases to shut the fuck up. So really, having someone who was quite had it's own perks. If we didn't start cursing at each other.

So yeah. Maybe there was a bond between the both of us. But then again, maybe it was best if we didn't ponder on that for too long.

Ackerman eventually became Squad Leader, along with Hange. And then Erwin took over Shadis as Commander.

Then pretty soon, Levi was upgraded to Lance fucking Corporal. Which I must say, was pretty impressive for a thug who didn't exactly like following orders. And I, well, wasn't Squad Leader, but just Captain. I took most of the rookies that didn't really have a squad in case we had odd numbers in soldiers or recruits. Other than that, it was like I was the only person in my pack. And I preferred it that way.

We had all just come back from an expedition a few weeks ago. There were, of course, multiple casualties, and multiple unnecessary deaths to our comrades in battle. But it wasn't like we all didn't do our best. We all fought on long and hard. Every one of us put everything we had in the expeditions. Whether it be to signal the other squads, or save a life, or take the life of a beast.

But in the end, maybe the best just wasn't enough if the odds were never in our favour.

I was in the mess hall, nursing my nice hot cup of freshly brewed tea. My hair was let down, and all I had on were a long sleeved shirt and a pair of pajama pants. Sifting through my short locks, my fingers located one or two strands of white hair amongst my dark brown tresses.

The way the years have flown by never ceased to amaze me. Every second, every minute, ever hour of every day just seem to fly right by. And I spend all of it fighting. Whether it be with the nightmares that lived right outside the walls, the nightmares that lived inside of my head, or just myself. I spend all of it fighting, never stopping. It didn't matter if it tired and aged me. I just knew that if I stopped, my heart would stop along with it.

"Sometimes I really hate the fact that you're the only person around here that can make a fucking decent cup of tea," murmured another voice from the table she was sitting at. "Aside from myself, that is."

Looking over at the direction which the voice had come from, she saw a familiar raven haired man, nursing his own cup of tea. His hair was slightly more disheveled compared to the not-a-hair-out-of-place 'do he always sported. And his attire, which normally comprised of the uniform and a cravat, were replaced with a set of clean pajamas.

"Thanks," I uttered. "I'm just going to save that into the file I normally keep all your compliments. But I don't think I like saving so many copies of the same thing."

"Fuck you. Just take the compliment like a normal person," he muttered. "If I fucking like your tea, I don't necessarily hate you."

"Only if you start giving them out like a normal person," I softly shot back, making him roll his eyes, taking a long sip of the tea in his cup. "And I didn't say you could take my tea. I don't give a shit on whether you hated me or not."

"What do you want me to do? It was right there. And I knew your tea won't kill or poison me," he said. "I was too fucking tired to brew another shitty pot of it. So when I saw yours, why the fuck not?"

"Hn," I hummed, sipping away at my tea while my eyes were locked entirely on his.

There were times like this that rarely get to come around. Where we'd just sit, and talk, or just sit and sip tea. And not constantly try to out-snark the other. And honestly, it was....not what I was hoping to happen. The previous 'Fuck you' and 'Fuck you, too' relationship we had before had been a lot more comforting. Because when one of us eventually dies, mourning would pass by a lot quicker.

"What do you think they're doing now?" I asked him, sighing. "They may not be here. But at least they're free to wander. And fly wherever they liked. While we're cooped up inside these shitty walls like chickens."

It took him a while to answer, but I watched as he sipped softly at his drink, the clog turning away in his head, and the heart still barely beating away in his chest.

"Those little piece of shit better wait until I fucking get out of here."