𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓

i

It was hot, too hot. Rays of sunshine poured in through the large windows of Hoseok's room along with the hot summer air. The light would occasionally bounce off of the various objects that had been scattered around his room, covering the carpet, causing colours and shapes to dance along the beige walls, and amongst it all lay Hoseok himself, covered under a pile of blankets and quilts of grey colour. Hair softly brushing along his eyes as the fan passed over him.

It was of course a school day, yet, here lay the king of attendance, bundled under layers of blankets on a 43 degree day and officially, late for school.

Hoseok lazily fluttered his eyes open, it had been a few months since the day he had kissed Yoongi, the two hadn't talked ever since, frankly, it was due to the fact that Jimin and Yoongi did everything together now. Just like Hoseok and Yoongi used to, except this time the two were more than 'just friends', they were lovers, what Hoseok dreamed he and Yoongi would be ever since they met.

He had of course felt guilty about the selfish act he had committed, Yoongi was dating Jimin when he had kissed the raven haired male, but he couldn't stop himself, after all, it was Hoseok who had known Yoongi from a young age, it was meant to be him entwining his hand with Yoongi's, it was meant to be him kissing Yoongi unconditionally, it was meant to be him whispering 'I Love You's' into Yoongi's ear, it was all meant to be him, but it wasn't.

Hearing the voice of his mother ring from downstairs caused Hoseok to suddenly jump out of the humid state of his bed.

"Hoseok-ah! Are you still asleep? You haven't eaten! And goodness me, you're late!"
She shouted, a tone of surprise in her voice.

Hoseok clicked his tongue yet did not reply, hoping that his mother would think that he just forgot to eat and went to school, the last thing he wanted was to receive pitying gazes from Yoongi, Jimin and anyone else that knew him and what had happened months ago.

The last thing he wanted was to feel even more broken than he already was.

Hearing the door to the entrance of the house close, Hoseok let out the breath he did not know he was holding and resumed to laying back down on the bed. The only noise that filled his mind was the constant rattling of the fan that seemed to be struggling to work, in Hoseok's mind, that was a good sign. He wasn't thinking about Yoongi, Jimin or anything else that he had to worry about.

Today was the first time Hoseok had skipped school, after Yoongi and Jimin had started dating, Hoseok had realised just how lonely it was to be at school when the only thing that you came to school for did not care for you anymore, Hoseok couldn't necessarily say that it was all their fault, it was him who should've told Yoongi ages agoーbefore Jimin had been partnered up with Yoongi for that stupid assignment, before he was dating that wretched girl he fell so deeply forーthat he held strong feelings for him. But would it have been any different to when he had confessed to Yoongi between books in library? Has Yoongi only ever seen a friend in Hoseok? Nothing more, nothing less?

Hoseok turned over to his side letting his hair fall over his face, he closed his eyes as he was met with bright rays of sunshine. Another day of pure sunshine, oh how Hoseok wished it would rain right now to complete the mood that he felt, what was Yoongi doing at school right now? The first class that they shared (English) was in full session by now, would Yoongi notice Hoseok's absence? Would he care? Or would he just be thinking about the charismatic Park Jimin all day?

Hoseok wanted to say that he didn't care, that Yoongi meant nothing to him, but he couldn't, he would never be able to say that, not himself, not to anyone else.

Slowly standing up and making his way towards the window, Hoseok let out a deep sigh and clutched onto the curtains before closing them harshly, as his room was covered in darkness, Hoseok closed his eyes.

"Maybe tomorrow, tomorrow I will be fine."
He mumbled, his lips far too dry and an unimaginable thirst lingering in his throat.

"Just...maybe."

Hoseok opened his eyes with the last word he mumbled and turned away from the window, his room was an absolute mess and he wasn't in the mood to clean it any time soon, a messy room showed a messy state of mind, and till his mind was cleared, his room wouldn't be either. He made his way past the random objects cluttered around his room and walked out of it.

Hoseok wasn't necessarily hungry, all he wanted was to sleep, but it was far too hot for that today, what he really needed was a glass of water and maybe, to the hear the voice of his beloved Yoongi again. As Hoseok neared the kitchen he saw his phone that he had turned off and left on the kitchen table after the conversation he had had with Jimin, he had tried desperately to apologise to Hoseok for whatever he had done but Hoseok saw no sincerity in that message at all, it was almost as if Jimin was mocking him for being such and idiot, for loving someone that would never love him back.

Hoseok brushed off the itchiness in his throats as a thirst for water rather than jealousy and went to grab a bottle of cool water from the fridge. From where Hoseok stood unscrewing the lid from the bottle he could see the street outside, no cars were driving past and the grass in every house seemed dry, as he quenched his thirst, he placed the half empty bottle down on the bench and walked over to the living room to lay down on the couch.

"Today's just another day."
He muttered under his breath, his chest tightening, his eyes tired, the room hot. Just another day.

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it feels like it has been ages since I last wrote a story!
thank you for reading this chapter!!!

d.w