Diving Deep (UK Crush #2)

Chapter 57

And finally, I felt his hands on me, I felt his arms gather me up and pull me to him, shushing me and folding his long legs around me as I pulled my knees up into his chest. I didn't know how long we stayed that way; all I knew was that I didn't care if I never moved again.

"No, no, darling girl," he finally whispered. "I'm never, ever, giving you the chance to leave again." He tilted my head up so he could look at me, wiping my eyes with his pajama shirt.

"It blows my mind how many times I can hurt you so fucking much and you still forgive me and love me and stay with me," he whispered. "How did I get so lucky?" He closed his eyes and kissed my forehead.

"I love you. Thank you so much for trusting me, over and over, even though I don't deserve it." He pulled me back to his chest, sliding his hand under the back of my pajama top to rub my back. I relished the feel of his hand on my skin.

"I love you, Teddy, so much, so much," I whispered. "I never stopped, I want you to know that, okay?"

Even though I almost slept with your best friend.

He looked at me.

"Really? How could you not want that guy? Classy, handsome, the whole package, right?" He sounded bewildered.

I lifted my head. "Theodore Shelley, if I hear you call that asshat classy one more time I'm 'withholding my favors', as you're so fond of saying," I said, trying to sound stern. "What he did to you, and how he tried to put the moves on me, is so the opposite of classy that 'low class' doesn't even begin to cover it, do you understand me?"

He looked at me and smiled, amusement and relief fighting for space on his features.

"Whereas you, sir, have behaved with nothing but class since this whole sordid mess began," I said softly.

Unlike your girlfriend.

"You thought you were doing what was right for me, and you tried your hardest, even though it sounds like it was really hard for you." I stroked his hair, as he closed his eyes and turned his head into my hand. "I'm sorry you suffered so much, and alone," I said.

My whole body trembled with all I was sorry for, with holding the words in. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"How can you do that?" He asked in amazement.

"What?" I asked softly, continuing to stroke his hair.

"You've suffered more than anyone. I know you, I know how much you feel everything, how you cry over things. How can you worry and care so much about how much I've suffered, when you've suffered so much more?" He pulled me in so we were almost touching noses.

Fuck. I was choking on the words I wanted to say, the confession I wanted to make. He didn't need to feel guilt, we were so, so, even.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever known," he whispered, "and I love you so much that sometimes I'm surprised the feelings I have don't just kill me."

And we kissed, the first kiss we'd shared in months. It was like the best drink of water I'd ever had in my life. He crushed me to him, swiping his hot tongue across my lips, seeking entry. I opened to him, and he moaned an exhalation through his nose.

"Love having ice cream with you," he murmured into my mouth. He bit into my bottom lip, sucking on it so hard. "Your mouth is so gorgeous, and you taste so good," he continued. "Fuckin' Jesus." He licked into my mouth, over and over, while I sat in his arms and tried not to come completely unraveled. He moved to my jaw, running his tongue along my scar. "Missed this, missed you, so bloody much—" in a gravelly voice that made my abdomen clench, made my sex tingle. He put his hand under my pajama top, blazing a scorching path on my skin. Fuck. I shook on his lap. "So much, thought I'd go mad, knowing you were so close, and thinking you'd never be mine again--" He kissed me again, pulling my shirt off at the same time, tossing it over the back of the sofa. He pulled his off in the next second, so we were skin to skin.

He stopped what he was doing when he saw me.

"Oh my god, you're so thin, Jesus, I could break you in half," he said, looking at me in concern.

I sat up, covering myself, self-conscious. "Is it awful?" I asked. "Do you want to stop?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He was incredulous. "You're beautiful to me, always." He pulled my arms away. "Always, darling, always." He sat up, putting his arms around me. "I just don't think it's healthy that you got so thin so fast, and I know it's not good that I can see all your ribs like this, okay?"

He kissed me and touched my breasts, making moans of pleasure, making me arch into his hands and bend my head back. His lips were so soft and warm, like ripe plums, as he chased mine with his tongue. I opened my mouth again, pulling it in, loving having part of him inside me. His mouth moved to my neck as he placed wet kisses there, clutching me to him, pulling on me, strong hands sliding up the curve of my waist. He was breathing rapidly, nearly out of control already. He touched me greedily, as if he couldn't figure out where to put his hands and mouth next.

I could feel how hard he was, and I pulled his pants off, then my own, settling back into him with a sigh. He looked at me, eyes roving hungrily all over my body. I slid up the length of him, coating him, making him warm and slick, and he drew a hissing breath, tipping his head back, squeezing my hips with his long fingers.

"Please," he said softly, his voice naked with want. "Want you, want to feel you on me, fuck—" He leaned forward and sucked on me, leaving a purple mark on my collarbone.

I adjusted my hips and felt him, the tip of him, on my center, twitching, reaching toward me. We both exhaled as I moved down slowly, reveling in the pull, the stretch, the fullness of him inside me.

"Oh my god," he whispered. "Like sliding into oil."

I lowered my head and dug my nails into his back as he touched me, my first orgasm in months grabbing me and shaking me. I could feel my insides clenching up on him, almost convulsing, and my motion caused his, and he bit my shoulder, making me cry out. It was the last thing I remembered before I blacked out, gasping to him that I was falling.