SoraMafu Stories~ [Part 3]

Worthless

       That thought made Soraru sick to the stomach, and he felt like vomiting again. He turned away from Mafu and ran away, back to his own house, where he cried the entire day.

       When he woke up, his eyes was puffy, and he scowled in disgust towards himself. He wasn't going to cut, he told himself firmly, because he still wanted to see Mafu laughing, and happy, like how he had always been. However.... "One cut wouldn't hurt," he mumbled, and placed the razor on his wrist, before making a slow, precise cut. But soon, he can't stop himself, and later that night, he was sobbing his heart out, arms covered with cuts and blood.

          "I'm sorry," he whispered over and over again, his eyes red from crying.

*°*

        Mafu was rather shocked when he saw Soraru crying. Something must be wrong Soraru-san never cries, he decided, dialling Soraru's phone number. He rubbed his eyes as he waited for the male to pick up, but no one ever did. Panic begin to seep in, and Mafu hung up, and called again, breaking into a run towards Soraru's house.

Please, Soraru-san, don't be hurt..

*°*

        Soraru looked at the tub full with water in front of him, considering whether frowning himself or hanging himself is better. He shifted his eyes to the darkened living room, where a noose fashioned from his bedsheets hung from one of the beams. He was one of those people who enjoy minimalistic design, and one of that meant exposing his house beams. He hadn't mind, of course.

Just another way to commit suicide.

       He sighed and looked back to the water. Maybe hanging myself would be faster. Drowning may make my reflexes kick in and I can't die. He nodded to himself, and carried a stool to where the noose is. He placed it underneath, and climbed up, holding the sheets as he positioned himself.
         Okay. I can do this. He ignored the pangs of hunger in his stomach. Eating right before his death is wasting, and so he didn't take any food. Just as he was about to kick the stool off, the door to his apartment was kicked open, and he watched, wide eyed, as Mafu stormed in.

      "Soraru-san! Get down this instant!" He shouted, and the said male scowled. "No," he shouted back at the albino, and kicked the chair away.
      Mafu had never been so scared and panicked when he saw Soraru hanging from the noose in front of him, choking a little, his legs kicking in the air. He ran to the fallen chair and placed it underneath Soraru's feet, and forces Soraru to stand.
      
       After he got him down, Mafu leaned against Soraru, panting, tears in his eyes. "Mafu, why did you save me?" Soraru asked, his eyes blank. "I..." Mafu trailed off, his eyes widening slightly when he connects the dots. When he saw Soraru, his heart always flutters, unlike Amatsuki, whom he had gotten over fast. When he saw Soraru hanging, he had felt sad, panicked, and... devastation. Like someone carved out his heart and never returned it to him.

He was in love with Soraru.

       "Suzumu-san told me that you have eating disorder?" He stammered, his hands fiddling nervously. Soraru blinked, his eyes going to Mafu, before he rubbed his arms. Had he been so skinny last time? Mafu could almost see the bones poking out. "Yes," Soraru replied, and Mafu stiffled a small sob. "Why?" He dared to ask, and Soraru sighed.
         "Sometimes you don't ask for it." As Soraru said it, his hand sent to rub his neck, where a red line is around it. From the noose, Mafu realized in horror. "Why did you come?" "I realized something," Mafu said slowly, watching Soraru's expression, that never changed. "And what's that?" Soraru asked coolly, and Mafu gulped.

"That I-I love you, Soraru-san."

        Soraru's eyes widened for a few seconds before he barked out a laugh. "You can't save me with lies, Mafu. I'll die anyway, what is dying earlier? It just meant that I have a shorter deadline. It doesn't matter if I love you, Mafu, it's not like you'll love me back, so stop with the lies!" He raised his voice at the back, making Mafu flinch.
        "I really do-" "-Mafu. Go back to Amatsuki. Don't pretend- don't make me hope when you are just lying to me," Soraru cut in, his voice weary and distressed. He turned away from the albino, and gestured towards the door. "I don't we should meet anymore, Mafu." He said, keeping his face turned away. Mafu felt his heart drop, and shook his head. "Please, don't turn me away," he pleaded, but Soraru just walked back into his room, and locked the door.
        Mafu ran to the door and banged his fists on it. "Please!" He shouts, tears starting to form in his eyes. "Please, Soraru-san! Open the door!" He shouted, and slid down the door, tears dripping down his face. "Please," he repeated again, letting out a soft sob. After a while, the door opened, and Soraru stared down at him. "Do you really mean what you said? About loving me?"
         Mafu looked up, and tried to smile through his tears. "Yes, so please, don't shut me out." He said softly, looking downwards. Soraru looked at him, and backed into the room. "I thought you said you love Amatsuki." "No," Mafu shook his head. "I misunderstood the feelings I had for him," he whispered, and approached Soraru from behind.
       He hugged Soraru lightly, feeling the raven-haired male stiffen under his touch. "I'll help you through this," he whispered, "We can get through this, together. Let me in, Soraru-san." He felt the other male's shoulders relax before the reply came.

"Okay."

A/N : I'm reading a romance-ish fic about a male prostitute and a guy who smokes crack and cigarettes. Wow my book preferences are amazing. Also bts will be doing a comeback tmr so I'm so hype for it. Btw, I lost inspiration for the soramafu vampire story, I feel like deleting the chapter, tell me what to do guys, help

-Aru