Death Missed a Spot

Love Will Find a Way

I am so patient.  I am tired of seeing hope outside the window.  Hope that is always outside the window is the most depressing thing.  Right now I want to look into the blinds.  Blinds block the hope.  It was nice on the mountain.  I saw the farm.  The cows waited for me.  In the hollow I see things - how uneven life can be.  

In school I dreamed a dream of playing while learning in school.  I was hurt and a person got the blame.  

My music teacher was very concerned with students learning.  She felt she wanted students to learn a certain way.  Her looks scared me.  She had a hard time seeing accomplishment in students.  She had in her head a certain way of how life should be.  Brandon and I were playing and I got hurt - we each told what we were doing.  I had been happy playing and she got so mad at the interaction.  She could tell I was scared.  She couldn't tell how much Brandon enjoyed learning.  Some people learn more while playing.  We told what happened and I said I was loud because I got hurt.  She looked at him and said what were you doing.  We said and she got mad -   I didn't say what all I was doing.  I mentioned what he was doing and that I got hurt.  Then she suddenly felt sorry for me and looked at him like he was mental.  She was already singling me out and purposely ignoring/not wanting to deal with him.  She got to treating me really well.  He wasn't the same person after that.  It is like part of him was farther away.  It didn't seem like the same person.  I don't know - I was scared of her - I felt if I didn't make it clear that I was making progress and if I appreciated other students unimpressive to her work (like she knows everything) that she would annoy me to death and she had already given me a taste of how it could swing the other way - I would be the one who thinks she's applying herself and actually is just books and learning without having anything to offer - cause what she had me done was so animatronic and the way she rewarded me for my progress was with hope that I could have a future more than the life I have.  But mostly I was rewarded by her not looking at me really right before she said everyone needs to do better and by her forgetting what Brandon "did" if he kneeled to her in spirit...and she showed encouraged what progress he made if he just gave in and let himself become slightly free clay that she needed to help cause she was the teacher and all kinds of things to pass on that she had caught so she could pass it onto everyone.

Copyright 2017 by Kathleen Ann Montgomery