Resident Evil Derp Book Of Crack

Part 1: Ghost Whiskey

Based on Resident Evil 6 (Biohazard 6) characters.

Chris was at his usual HQ...His personal little "hideout". Although everyone knew where it was...It was just a bar, his usual bar. Where he'd usually treat himself to his partners meal. He may have been a drunk mess when he reunited with Piers, but he remembered what the man had on his plate that night. Every single thing. It was times like this now that he wished he had never forgotten him in the first place...

Leon on the other hand, was on a bit of a hiatus. He wasn't working, he wasn't not working. He hadn't been doing much traveling, but was here and there with reconstruction teams...He was also starting to get sick and tired of being cooped up in his room with nothing but vodka...But at the same time he didn't want to go out...Something about tonight just made him feel eerie.

"Well shit, it's one or the other." The blonde said to himself, getting up off the edge of his bed.

He grabbed his favorite leather jacket off the nearby chair, and was out the door. Little did he know, that he was probably about to find himself under more stress than he was already in...

Now outside and walking down the dark, dank streets, he had no use for a car. Especially where he was. Everything was within walking distance. Not only that, but he hadn't had much luck behind the wheel lately...Queue flashback of all the shit he crashed with Helena.

"Shit...It's colder than usual." Leon hugged himself, massaging his arms as a welcoming little bar came into view.

Unlike the other places around, the bar looked promising...And definitely warm. Before he even knew it, his legs were carrying him right across to the cozy little building. He reached out reluctantly for the door, and pushed it open, moving inside quickly. His body immediately gave a delighted shiver as the warm air of the bar caressed him all in one big wave. He then eyed the place, taking in his surroundings quickly, and made his way towards the bar where the other men sat...But then stopped dead in his tracks...He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it as he found himself fired up with many a negative feeling. He wore a slight glare as he took a seat next to the manifestation of his negative feelings...But then there was that off feeling of relief.

"...Guess I should've known better. My gut told me not to come out." He said with a certain tone, causing the man next to him to look over in his direction.

"L...Leon..." After seeing who it was, Chris was much less enthused as well.

"Chris." Leon still the same way.

"What do you want?" Chris asked keeping his glare on his plate as he cut another piece of his steak loose.

"I just came out for a drink..." Leon said dryly as he looked up to the bartender who approached. "Vodka pl-"

"Two ghost whiskey." Chris interrupted, then glanced at Leon who was giving him a look. "Trust me, it's better than that piss poor vodka you're always drinking."

...The two were silent for a moment, just staring at each other...

"..."

"..."

"Is that what you want?" The bartender asked, her voice thick with accent, and a bit of annoyance.

"..."

"..."

"...Yeah. Sure." Leon finally answered and the woman went to get Chris his usual.

Chris then went back to his dinner.

"...How the hell do you even know what I drink?" Leon suddenly asked with a scoff and a small smirk daring to tug at his lips.

"Just like I know you've been cooped up here for two weeks." Chris answered plainly.

"And you've been here for two months." Leon responded cockily, taking his glass up off the bar as the woman sat it down.

"Leave the bottle." Chris demanded as the woman had grabbed it to put it away...But she left it and went on about her business. "So you're watching me now?"

"Yes and no." Leon answered taking a sip of the ghost whiskey, watching l as Chris drank his effortlessly. "What about you?"

"I pick up on things." He responded as he filled his glass again, topping off Leon's as soon as he sat it back down on the bar.

Leon scoffed again. "We drinking buddies now?" He picked up his glass, hesitant even though he had watched Chris pour it.

"You sat next to me." Chris reminded finishing off his drink again.

"Not like I wanted too."

"Then why are you here?"

"Needed to get out."

"...I know the feeling..."

"...Yeah..."

The two men were then silent for a moment, only continuing to drink. But as the alcohol did its job, the two of them had become very talkative...And so disoriented that when Chris got up, Leon did too, following after him like they had came there together.

The two, well mostly Leon, managed to pick out all the good and laughable moments from their tormented pasts. Even having a little friendly competition to see who could tell the best B.O.W. survival story.

"So we're being swirled around, snatched and jerked by this Damn mutated shark, and Helena's stuck in the things the mouth-"

"Basically you were riding a monster shark?"

"Yeah! Anyway, she suddenly gets engulfed by the bastard, and the whole time while this thing is swimming around in these caves, going batshit crazy, I had to..."

And from there Leon went on. Telling his twisted tail, even drifting off into his story with the salamander that almost took his leg.

"Sounds like you should stay away from the water." Chris said with a shake of his head.

"I've never been one for fishing anyway...At least not for fish." Leon gave the man a small smirk.

"Tch-"

"What about you, any "luck" in the water?" Leon asks, and Chris stops dead in tracks.

"I-I..." Suddenly all the flashes of his last moments with Piers went through his mind in a painful wave. Leon noticed the look on Chris' face and figured that it was probably a bad idea that he asked.

"...Not too lucky?"

"...No. Never." Chris slurred rather angrily, now slightly storming off in whatever direction they had been going.

Leon followed along after him silently, shoving his hands in his pockets. The cold starting to sober him up a bit, but wasn't any bit of merciful on his tired body. The two walked along, silently for a while until they came to Leon's apartment.

"Guess this is your stop." Chris was the first to speak, making Leon notice they were both just standing there.

"Yeah..." Leon then started up the stairs to his room. He then stopped to see Chris start walking again.

...............

"You heading back to that-"

"You got any of that piss poor vodka left?"

As Leon spoke to see if Chris' sleeping situation was still unfortunate, the man cut him off with that question.

"...I might. Only one way for you to find out." Leon invited, but had half a mind to straight up tell him no...

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