Sincerely, Tyler ▸ (Sequel to Dear, Rosemary)

End

However, in the midst of the commotion, the police officer informed me that they had found a note in the very smallest pocket of his backpack that read, "under the dahlias."

The only dahlias we knew of were at Rose's grave, which we had come to realize he had left a letter for us under the flowers. It was quite a long letter, one that I never wanted to end. It had blotches of water scattered all across it and my imagination showed me Tyler crying silently with the pen in his hands.

The letter itself was ripped out of his journal and was not in the best condition. The detectives were able to identify that it had been written only 28 hours before his death.

When he came into my room, he had been saying goodbye, which was normal, and fine, and something you would expect. But, the kind of goodbye Tyler was telling me was one of a farewell. A goodbye of never returning. Which killed me inside because Tyler knew a full day in advance that he would be dead soon at his own risk. And I could not stop him.

To picture this kid that I had grown up with my entire life, most likely thinking to himself in his final moments that he was useless to the world, and that there was nobody there for him...I couldn't even come up with words. It was dreadful.

His letter was antagonizing as well, and it ripped my heart into pieces just looking at it. But I would read it over and over again, hoping to gain answers around his words, because Tyler was like that. Tyler was creative and slightly sneaky, and I knew that he would always hold a place in my heart and body.

The crinkling of the paper caught Ryan's attention as I began to look over it. With the help of Tyler's father, she had finally lifted herself from the ground, holding tightly onto me as her eyes met the paper as well.

"Dear Rosemary,

I'll be with you very soon to explain myself, as an explanation is something you deserve so deeply.

I wanted you to know that I remember that very first feeling of your hands intertwining with mine when you led me into your home for that family dinner one evening. The memory has stuck itself into my brain, and has decided to never leave me.

Now, I can't help but compare it to that unfortunate time I regret more than any possible thing I've done in this world, when I held you tightly, but you were so, so cold. I wanted your eyes to flutter open and meet mine and tell me that I was just experiencing yet another useless nightmare, another anxiety or panic attack. But, you never did, Rose. You never woke up.

I never, ever meant to hurt you. That would be the last thing on my mind in a million years and more. However, I hate to say that it still is entirely my fault what happened. I let myself fall for my own minds manipulative ways, and you were the one who paid for my mistakes in the end.

The amount of times I weep, and grieve, and pray, and think for and about you a day are absolutely endless. There's no possible number to match it.

You are so missed, Rosemary, and the things I wish I could change are endless as well. I wish I would have held your hand more often, took more pictures of your smile, made you breakfast in the morning more often. I wish I told you just how beautiful and lovely and appreciated you were to me more often, and how much I truly cared for all you had to offer me. I wish we had more time together, so that we could've been married, with many children, just like you would have wanted. I wish I would have never let Blurry get to me in that one quick moment.

I miss the way your eyes would squint in happiness when you'd let your perfect smile shine. I miss the way your cold hands would feel against my body and the way they would always give me comfort. I miss your laugh, especially. It was something that would drive me to keep going. Knowing that you were happy, gave me a chance to be happy.

I miss just being able to hold you. The way you would feel wrapped around my arms was a feeling of no other. Your short hair would always manage to tickle my face, and you'd bury yourself into my chest, not caring what others would see.

I can't help still being so in love with you, and it pains me that I will never be able to tell you how much sorrow I feel that you had to leave against my will. A will that was never intentional, ever. But a will that was planned by Blurryface.

You were all that I had in this world. All that I truly would do anything for. You kept me going, kept me safe. You sacrificed your entirety to me just to keep me alive for a little while more. No matter the situation, it was you that I could count on, because you were always so selfless, so altruistic and kind. You'd think twice about others before even trying to think about yourself first.

The world needed more beautiful people like you. But, now, with you being gone, I have absolutely nothing, nothing to keep me safe, nothing to keep me motivated, nothing to keep me alive any longer.

And so, here is where I draw the line of life. From the beginning, I knew that my life would never be complete without you in it. A missing piece is not how I want to spend my days. I cannot possibly spend them with a broken heart, a destroyed mind, and an exhausted body, any longer.

I hope to see you soon, and I hope that whatever god there may be will soon forgive me for my actions. More importantly, I hope you will forgive me for all I've done.

Josh, if you find this, just know that you will always be my best friend. You will always be someone that I looked up to, and gained character from. You've influenced me a lot, and pushed me into the right direction, which I'm forever grateful for. You will always be in my heart and I will take the thought of you wherever I can.

Ryan, you will be someone I've admired without a doubt. Your courageousness, outgoingness and your drive to get anything and everything you could possibly need is something I've always aspired to be like. You were an incredibly friend to Rosemary, and a girlfriend I would only imagine for Josh.

Please, don't cry for me, don't be angry or blaming. This was a decision at my own hands which unfortunately impacts you. But, do not worry because everything will be alright, just imagine that I'm living peacefully in Honolulu forever and that I absolutely love it there. Imagine that I'm with Rosemary and her parents and my pet hamster Garett.

Thank you for all that you've done. Know that I do wish things could have been different. I'm sorry that it had to be this way. I'm sorry I was not strong enough to hold my ground. Know that it was not Blurryface who had the final stamp on my death, but it was a decision I made for myself. Know that I love you both very much, and that I'm sorry I couldn't be Josh's best man at your wedding, because we all know Josh would pick me in that position.

I'm sorry I drifted away so suddenly, and created such a barrier between us. I'm glad that we resolved everything that we needed to resolve in such a little matter of time. I'm glad I had the both of you in my life.

I can assure myself that you two will be fine, because that is all I want you to be and no less. Assure me that, because when I'm looking down upon you, your dwelling will pain me. So, be happy. Think optimistically as I couldn't have. Live until you are both old and still gravely in love, because that is what I want, and what I want is important, of course.

All the love,
Sincerely, Tyler."

End

***
A/N - Thank you all so much for reading and contributing your love towards this sequel. I'm sorry it had to end this way though guys, but don't be sad! It's only a story and I'm hoping wherever Tyler is that he's okay and safe (:

Once again, the response to this book has been incredible. I appreciate all of your lovely comments and votes. I always find it so surprising when people even take the time to read my work, but knowing I have consistent readers is the most comforting thought ever. So thank you all once more.

I am currently working on a Josh Dun fanfic which will be out soon so do keep a keen eye. The release date of the first chapter will be on February 21st, 2017

Until then, though, goodbye everyone. I wish you all a happy day/night and remember to always take care of yourselves because you are deserving of a happy life xx