~DIVERGENT~ Another Chance

Chapter 19: Machine

Tobias P.O.V.
I look at the screen that is facing me and I can see she is in the Bureau, but it looks different from the last time we were there. They adjust some things on the computers and her memory changes. I can see her in the weapons lab now. I am starting to panic a bit, because this is where I lost her. I try to calm myself down, I really can't break down here and now. I am now actually happy for the drink Luther gave me earlier.
I see how she is talking to David, still trying to inch towards the keypad. Then he shoots her.
I want to cry out, but I just look at Tris, telling her and myself she is with me right here and that she isn't dead. Next minute, she is limp next to me and I start to really panic. When I look back at the screen, I see they are injecting her with what I am guessing is the paralyse serum. I see her as she hears me crying over her body at the morgue after I was told she died. That day comes back to me in a bad way, I nearly cry out in pain. I talk to Tris, telling her it is not real, that I am next to her. Before I know it, I am gone from the memory and everything changes. I don't know where she is or recognise any of her surroundings.
Next a scientist comes in and introduces himself as Jason.
Jason!
That is who did all this to her! That is the bastard that tortured and held her captive. If I ever get my hands on him, I am going to kill him, very slowly might I add. I want him to feel the pain she had to go through.
I see how they inject her with serum after serum, eventually Jason comes in a few days later and congratulate her on her pregnancy. She seems so happy with the news at first, but then her smile drops. She cries each night in her cell, trying to get out, but to no avail as there are no windows or anything. How she cries for me to help her, to help our baby. Tris in front of me is also panicking and crying at this point.
The memories on the monitor pass as the months go by and so does her pregnancy, she looks weaker and thinner with every month that goes by. They would starve her some days, hoping that the simulations and serums would work on her weakened state. They have already placed her through her own fear simulation multiple times, this weighing her down a lot more. She struggles through some of them, especially the water tank fear, as well as where she has to kill her parents. I realise that I am in this fear now too. I can see how she struggles to kill me each time, after a while crying and saying to herself that it isn't real. But the look on her face tells me she doesn't really believe it. You can see how they would hit her if the serums and tests didn't work.
After a few minutes, I realise why she struggled so much with the water tank. They actually made one where they would keep her in, until she nearly drowned and then place her into another simulation. She started to have problems differentiating between the simulation one and the real one. With every memory that I see, the more red I see. I am trying really hard to hold it together, but this is literally killing me. After a few more memories, I see she goes into labour while they were beating her again. I also notice that she didn't carry full term. How do I notice these things at a time like this?
It feels like I can't move my eyes from the screen. Before my brain catches up to my body, I am already standing, the chair fell backwards in my anger. I see how they have her tied to a surgical table with straps around her hands, neck and head. How she is crying for me and our child. I notice that they don't really care what happens to them, they are quiet rough with her and the baby. I am gripping the table so hard, my hands feel numb. In my state, I didn't even notice Matthew get the door guards to stand inside the room now. I can see him talking to them, but I am still more focused on the screen in front of me.
I see how she screams and cries while giving birth. Our son, I can see our son and I will never be able to hold him. I see how they work with our baby, nearly dropping him in their carelessness. How he screams bloody murder in their arms, how she pleads just to hold him, all this before she goes unconscious.
Tris in front of me is thrashing and screaming now.
That is when I totally lose it.
I feel strong arms around me, holding me. Matthew saying something, but I can't hear him. I am to focused on Tris in front of me and my thoughts against that doctor and the lab. I am struggling against the guards, but they have me pinned.
Matthew is still in front of me, saying something and I am trying really hard to listen, but my body is disconnected from my brain.
Next minute I feel a sting across my cheek and I go limp in the guards arms. I look up and see Amar standing there, he slapped me through the face. "Four?" Matthew asks, "can you hear me?" I nod my head, to tired to answer. "Good, I need you to leave the room for a few minutes, try to calm down and then I need you to come back and help Tris out of the machine. Do you hear me? I am not going to let her continue now, I gave her a serum to calm her until you are ready, do you understand?" he says.
I just nod and the guards release me. Amar walks with me until we are outside in the hallway again. Once there I slump down the wall and break down. I am so angry and sad at the same time. I hate feeling this week, but I can't seem to keep my feelings inside anymore. I cry for our baby, for everything Tris had to go through. Then I start to get mad again, this time at myself for not staying at the Bureau and trying to keep Tris save. This is all my fault, if I stayed, none of this would have happened.
But as I sit there I start to realise some things. Like why would they hit her when the tests and serums didn't work? Didn't they need her because of her Divergence? This is starting to feel more like something personal to me than just using her as a test subject. As I sit here, I decided that I will find out why he took her. Why out of all the people did he take Tris.
I see Amar standing in the hallway with me, just looking at me and saying nothing. I try to collect myself, I need to be strong for Tris now. If I feel like this for only witnessing it, how must she not feel for living it. I try to stop the tears and get my anger at myself under control so I can be there for Tris now. She will need me now more than ever. I try to collect myself so I can help Tris out of the machine.
I stand up and walk up and down the hallway, trying to collect my thoughts. I get my breathing under control and decide that I need to get the tears off my face, so I head to the men's room down the hall. I wash my face and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are red as well as my face. I look like I am fuming and crying at the same time, which I guess I did a few minutes ago. I finish in the bathroom and head to the room where Tris and everyone else is.
I take a deep breath and then I enter and see Johanna and Matthew turn around and look at me. I nod my head towards them and go to Tris, which is lying peacefully in the chair now. I grab her hand and I start to mumble stuff to her. I try to tell her she is fine, that I am here with her and that she is still alive.
Matthew comes to us and injects something in her arm. "Be ready," he tells me and before I know it, Tris is screaming bloody murder. I grab her and hold her, talking to her and rubbing her back. After a few seconds, she must realise it is me, because she breaks down, sobbing in my chest. She is holding on to me so tightly that it feels like she might just strangle me. I hold her to my chest and try to talk to her.
I hate seeing her in such pain.

It pained me to write this chapter.
Thanks for reading!
Be brave,

Christina Eaton🔥