what i wish i could tell you

imperfection

i know you aren't perfect.
i know that our relationship is far from perfect.

you don't cuddle me as well as my exes did and you don't treat me quite so well as my other exes did. you never show jealousy , which i crave in a twisted way , and you never get overprotective, which i always want to see just to satisfy my fucked up , attention-loving standards. i need the typical cute cuddles every night , and the promise of doing anything for me.

i guess you do do them things, but just not quite how i like it. it's sick , i know.

...but i love you. i fucking love you. we talk about getting married and we talk about what we'll name our future children. we talk about what dog we're going to get when we finally move in together and what it's name will be. we talk about everything wrong with the world and we discuss whether donald trump is going to be a decent president after all. we talk about our careers in the future and although i don't want you to go into the army, i support you and love you for being such a brave and fearless person anyway.

however somewhere in our relationship there's a flaw. our souls connect, but for me, theres one loose wire. all the branches of your soul intertwine with mine except one , and it causes me to detect all the things you do wrong. you could spend more time with me , you could you could buy me a bouquet of flowers , you could do so much more than you already do. but i can't resist the look you give me when im talking too much. you're not listening to me talk; its all nonsense , but youre giving me a small smile and staring into my eyes. you look gorgeous. i cant resist the surge of anger you get while playing your video games , but then you look at me and calm down. i cant resist the way you subconsciously rub my leg or touch my thigh or stroke my hair.

i do love you. and i know you love me, but just not quite how i'd like you to. you're imperfect and our relationship is imperfect but i can learn to love it and maybe some day it won't bother me anymore. i love you so much.