Toxic (Harry Styles)

Chapter 31

"He was actually the one to push her away. It's not his fault," I clarify. "I mean, I didn't know that until later, so I scratched her," I say more sheepishly.

"No!"

"On her face."

"Oh, Shay!" Jess laughs. This feels so much like old times; laughing and gossiping with my best friend. "I never pictured you as a clawing type."

"Neither did I, until then."

"Okay, anything else," she pushes.

"Um, no. Not really," I lie.

Jess sends me a playful narrowed look. I know where this is going. "Have you two had sex yet?"

"Jess!" I squeak, hitting her arm as she giggles. "No, of course not!"

"Then what have you done?" She expels. I can feel the heat rush to my cheeks and I'm positive Jess sees it too.  "Oh my... Shay! You let him touch you?"

I jump with my hand outstretched to cover her mouth. "Shut up!" And I let go.

"Oh, by who? The ghost?" She rolls her eyes. I realise she's right. I shouldn't be ashamed of anything, she's talked to me about her experiences even if I didn't want to hear them, but I can't help but I'd be sharing something that should stay between me and Harry.

But who am I suppose to turn to when I don't have a mother or sister. Sure as hell not my dad. I can't really talk to Harry since it's about him. Jess is my only option. She's practically my sister, ever since we were young. We've told each other everything, why should this be so different?

"Fine!" I give up. "Yes, okay. Happy?"

"Shay, you shouldn't be embarrassed," she says. "Okay, now have you done anything for him?" Her eyebrows rise.

"No, in case you haven't noticed, Harry's my first boyfriend I've ever done anything with."

"And he hasn't asked for it?"

"No," I state. "Why?"

"Well, most guys are like that, you know. They give, and then they want. You should ask him about it."

"What? You want me to talk to him about...p-pleasuring him?"

She snorts at my words. "Ha! Pleasuring. You can't even say it." Jess leans back on the palms of her hands. "I'm just saying maybe you should consider it."

Well...

"Can we please stop talking about this?" I plead. I really don't feel comfortable. "What about you? Anything new?"

It's her turn to blush as she finds her hands interesting suddenly. "Well, maybe. I mean, we're still just talking."

"Oh my gosh, Jess. Tell me everything."

"Okay, so we met at the farmer market downtown and he helped me when I knocked over a display. Least to say, he was very charming and charismatic. We exchanged numbers and so far we've been on, like, three dates." Jess looks off into space like she's dreaming.

"What does he look like?"

"He has black, almost buzz-cut styled hair. Brown eyes, full lips, and he's really broad and strong," she describes. If I'm being honest with myself, he sounds nothing compared to Harry, though I'd think that about every guy.

"And does this man have a name?"

"Yeah, his name's Evan."

***

I pace with my arms crossed in front of Harry and Lucas' flat. I've rung the door bell for the past two minutes and I go reach for it again. Harry's car is parked on the side of the road so he must be home. I sure hope he is because it looks like it's going to rain soon, and I walked here.