Black Velvet

Chapter 45 - "Have you ever had such a shitty year?"

“Are you crying?”

“How are you not?” I said through tears, “It’s a Disney movie?” Louis reminded me. “But Mufasa!” I said and looked at him in utter disbelief at how he was taking Mufasa’s death so lightly. How he wasn’t even close to tears. The Lion King was the fourth Disney movie we had watched and the most emotional so far. This movie caught me every time.

“Aw come here,” he said and pulled me closer to his chest. I could feel the last few tears trickle down my face. “I wonder where everyone is,” Louis voiced his thoughts. “I was wondering that earlier on, but then I got lost in the world of Disney,” I told him looking up with a smile. “It’s weird I’ve never seen the house so empty,” he commented looking around.

“It’s because in this room, we have our privacy. No security guys are roaming around in here with their guns or high tech gadgets, it’s just us,” I said with a smile. “That’s true,” Louis said nodding. The TV began entertaining itself, there was something up with Louis; I made him look at me.

“What’s up?” I asked looking at him. “Want to go for a walk?” he asked. This was bad; he was getting me out of the apartment. “Eh yeah, let me change though,” I told him and got up from the couch. Louis didn’t say whether anything was wrong. I felt the panic creep up the back of my legs.

“Eh, I’ll wait out here,” he called as I walked down the corridor. I sighed what was going on? I was meant to be the one shit at relationships not him. I walked into my own room and began to change. I changed almost methodically; my mind was on what Louis wanted to talk to me about, why he wanted me out of this house.

What I couldn’t understand was that one minute it was all fine, we were watching Disney movies and the world was good, and then all of a sudden Louis was just… I don’t know… uncomfortable –for lack of a better word. I racked my brains trying to think of something that I would have done to make him act this way. But I failed to think of any. What would have caused him to act so weird, so fast?

When I was ready I looked in the mirror. Staring back at me was a terrified face of a girl. I felt so much younger, so much more vulnerable. I was never ever vulnerable. Louis had made me this way, made me dependant on him. I don’t know whether I liked it or not. I kept staring into the vast black eyes that were staring back at me. I shook my head; I don’t know why I was physcing myself out so much.

I took a deep breath and opened the white door that would take me back out onto the corridor. Louis was waiting at the top of the corridor. He looked as nervous as I was feeling. I wanted to scream at him and ask him what the hell was going on. But I didn’t, I contained myself and walked up the corridor to him. “Hi,” he breathed. “Hi,” I smiled. “You ready?” he asked, I nodded.

We were small talking, the worst type of talking there ever was. I followed Louis through the sitting room and down the corridor. We were at the fire escape in seconds. He indicated for me to go first. I did and made my way through the maze of steel until I reached the steps. Louis was right behind me.

“June,” he whispered my name, as if each letter meant so much to him. I was at the top of the stairs and I turned to face him. “Can we talk?” he asked. “Eh yeah, what about?” I asked the panic began its creep again. “About us,” he told me taking my hands. We both sat down on the top of the stairs. He kept his eyes forward; I followed his gaze he was looking out at the ocean.

“June, I love you,” he told me. I heart stopped. We have never exchanged those words to each other. So when he said it I was caught completely off guard. I looked at him and knew my mouth was hanging open. “Please say something,” he whispered. But I didn’t know if I could. It was like my throat was so dry. “Louis…” I whispered his face was on breaking point. “I love you more,” I whispered. His face was a canvas of emotions. But he threw his arms around me and held me so tight. Tight enough that I felt completely safe.