Lonely World

A Mess I Cant Clean Up

Trying to hide a pregnancy is some hard work. I told AJ that he's going to be a father and he blew me off. He comes over from time to time, but not for me, or the baby.

I was meeting up with Mack, since I hadn't seen him in forever. I had on a 2X sweater, so he wouldn't see just yet.

We met at Brookeside. "Hey." He started. "You don't like to answer your phone?" He looked upset.

"I haven't seen you in 4 months. And there's a lot to explain. Please don't leave me when I tell you." I told him.

"No promises." He said. I sighed.

"I'm pregnant." Automatically his eyes widened, because he knew it wasn't his.

"So you cheated on me?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It just, happened. That's not all..." I continued.

"I'm on drugs." I said softly.

"Who did this to you Karly?" His eyes got angry.

I teared up. "Please don't..." I said.

"Tell me who did this to you Karly!!" He yelled.

"Can you just wait a minute. Breathe." I said to him.

"I'm on heroine. And pregnant. I never planned for this to happen. I don't even know what's gonna happen when I tell my parents. And Aj did it Ok? AJ..." I raised my voice.

"Please don't leave me I have no one." I pleaded.

He put his face in his hands. "How could you let this happen?" Mack told me.

"My whole life is shit. I just made it worse." I said.

He grabbed me in his arms and rubbed my back. I cried.

"Thank you." I said.

Still after, I met up with Mack, I continued to do drugs, I continued to loose my life piece by piece. My baby doesn't even move anymore and I know why. Its dead. Doctors took her out of me. Yeah, it was a girl.

That's one thing lifted off of my shoulders. I had to figure out how I'm gonna get my shit together before graduation. I'm falling behind, Ray won't talk to me, and everything is all over the place. This is like a mess I cant clean up.