Lonely World

Get Your Shit Together.

       "Why you look so thin Karly? You look like me now." She laughed her evil little laugh.

I just starred at her. Her lifeless body. She was dead before she stopped breathing. And that's exactly what I was about to be. Just like my mother.

AJ came over later. Finally, it took him long enough. I continued to scratch my arms. "Hurry up." I demanded. He looked at me aggravated.

He finally handed over a needle. I injected myself with it. I felt so much satisfaction.

A few weeks go by, and having my mom back home isn't very pleasent but I was used I bullshit now. AJ always hooks me up with the heroine, I honestly want to stop but its some good shit. I'm so used to it by now. It isn't doing me any good though.

I looked in the bathroom mirror. I wasn't myself anymore. My eyes look dark and lost. My skin was pale now. And boy did I loose my shape. I wiped my tears that I'd been crying for hours. What was I gonna do now with another situation in my hands? I looked down into the sink to see three positive pregnancy tests.

This was the wrong time for everything. I haven't spoken to Ray or Mack in a long time. Mack. I didn't even know how I was gonna explain anything to him. He'd been blowing up my phone for days. So has Ray.

I was gonna meet up with Ray today, let him know wassup. I wasn't ready to talk to Mack yet. "Damn." Ray said shocked. "You look like a fucking ghost. Fuck is wrong with you?" He continued.

"Thanks." I replied.

"Well wassup Kar?" He had fear in his eyes.

"I'm knocked up, my mom's back, oh yeah, and I do heroine." I told.

His face went from worry, to fury.

"How could you let this happen to you?" He was angry now.

"How could I let this happen to you, I'm suppose to protect you." He put his face in his hands.

"By who? And who put you on that shit?" He stood up, yelling in my face.

"Please stop." Tears filled my eyes. "I can't loose you too." I replied.

He sighed a big sigh. "Well what do you want me to say? You're a fucking mess, and you're just like your mother." He said to me.

My jaw dropped low at his comment. "I know you don't want to hear it but its true." He continued.

"Who did it?" He asked.

I looked into his brown eyes staring into mine. "AJ." I whispered.

"Fuck boy AJ? Why would you even mess with him?" He asked.

I was speechless. At a loss for words.

"Mack know?" He asked. I shook my head.

He laughed. "You call me when you get your shit together Karly." He walked away from me. And I then felt like I lost my best friend.