Lonely World

We'll see.

                           "You're full of shit Mack." I told him.

"Look, Kayla, we was never exclusive, I just said I had feelings for you." He replied.

I stood outside on my porch steps, and Mack talked to me from the bottom of the stairs. It was around 5pm on a Tuesday afternoon.

"Why would you tell me you have feelings for me, and then fuck around with some other bitch?" I asked him.

"Look I'm sorry. I dont like ha or anything, it was just sex. No strings attached." Mack said.

"You say that now, until she come crying back talking bout you got my baby." I went into my house and closed the door in his face.

I had other problems to face. My father layed on the couch, smoking weed. "We gotta go visit your momma in the hospital Karly." He said to me as he exhaled.

"Why should I.." I whispered.

"Thats your mother." He replied.

"And? A mother that was never there and neither were you."

"What you talkin bout Kar? I provide for you all the time." He asked.

"Just because you provide money for someone, doesnt mean that fills in for the love that you shouldve given me."

I made my way up the stairs. This was bullshit. My mother was in the hospital because she OD'd on some crack. She's a mess.

Surprisingly, I did my homework tonight, after I was done, I hit up the Bay. Just to sit down and think.

I sat on the swing, looking into the sunset in front of me. Disappointed in everything. Why me? Why couldnt I live a life where I have lots of friends, and we chill every weekend. And a faithful person to hold me down. That shit must've been some type of fairytale compared to what I'm going through.

Ray came thru. It seems like he's drifting away from me though. We dont talk as much as usual, and its starting to fear me. "Wassup," He asked.

"Coolin'." I said.

"Hows your mother and shit at home?" I asked him.

"You know she got some boyfriend again? I swear she a hoe. Its a different nigga every other week man." He said upset.

"Just hang in there Ray. We almost 18, we can do whatever we want after we graduate. Meaning, we can move the hell away from here." I said.

"Ion know Kar. Its a lot to think about. But we'll see."

"Yea, we'll see."

The next afternoon, after school Mack kept texting me, saying he was at my front door. I opened the door. He wore a black polo shirt, khaki cargos, and concords. "Hey," He said raising his eyebrows. "Can I come in?" He asked.

"Ight." I let him in.

We headed upstairs to my room to talk.

"You know I aint mean to hurt you right?" He said.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not buying your shit." I said angry.

I started to tear up. Not only because of our situation, but because everything was weighing on me.

"I'm sorry." He said as he got closer to me.

He kissed me. "Stop." I told him.

But I soon gave in. His soft pink big lips were just hard to stay away from.

Mack stayed over that night. No details, but lets just say it happened.

I dont know about this one. He's a good guy and all, but is the trust there? We'll see.