Since When

Chapter Twenty Five

I was putting Charlie's cage up when my mom opened my door.
"Rachel. Dinner's ready." She told me. I nodded, not looking at her. I had my back to her, so I couldn't see her face. And she couldn't see the tears running down my face.
"So... how's school?" She asked me. I shrugged.
"It's ok." I told her. My voice was strangely even.
"Yeah? How's Zeke?" She asked. I turned to her as a sob broke from my chest. She held her arms open. I shook with tears as my mom held me.
"He... he... he cheated on me, mom!" I cried. She rubbed my hair.
"It's ok, sweetie." She soothed me.
"No, it's not. It happened to Emma. It's happening to me." I wailed. She pulled away and held me at arms length.
"Exactly. And you know what you told her?" She asked me.
"That she will find someone else who will love her and  treat her like royalty." I whispered. She nodded.
"Yes. And so will you. I promise." She said. I nodded. She smiled and kissed my cheek.
"Your father is waiting. Dinner's ready." She repeated. I nodded and she walked out of my room. This room had so many memories for me. Ash and I when we we were kids. Cody and Ash playing truth or dare. Cody... killing himself. I sighed and finished putting Charlie's cage up and went downstairs.

Dad was sitting at the table eating. Mom was getting a glass of milk. I sat down and didn't acknowledge my father. Mom set a plate of food in front of me and patted my shoulder.
"So, Rachel. You let Charlie go today." Dad spoke up. I stared at my food.
"Yeah. I did." I told him.
"I'm sorry. I know you loved him." He said.
"Yeah." I said. He cleared his throat.
"So. How was your day?" He asked me. I finally looked up at him. He was cutting his steak.
"It sucked. I let my bird go. The bird I loved dearly. I found out Zeke was cheating on me with Rebecca Taylor. All of my 'friends' knew. And now, you're acting like you care when two weeks ago you couldn't have given two shits." I told him. He just smiled.
"Rachel. I've cared. I have always cared." He told me.
"Bull." I stood up.
"If you cared, you wouldn't think I would try to kill myself! I watched my best friend slit his throat! My sister tried overdosing when she was a junior!" I exclaimed. Dad watched me with sad eyes. Mom was looking down at her food. I ran a hand through my hair.
"And yet... yet you still think I would kill myself. After seeing what it does to people." I whispered. Dad stood up.
"Rachel Leanne James. I don't think you will kill yourself. I don't think you could do that to us. I was just trying to make sure you wouldn't get hurt." His voice cracking, he held his arms out to me. I shook my head and didn't let the tears, that so desperately wanted to race, run down my cheeks. Mom stood up and put her hands on the table.
"Rachel. You've changed since Ashley moved. Then, with Cody... you changed even more. And now with Zeke, I'm afraid you will hurt someone." She told me. I turned to her. Being dead serious I told my mom,
"Me too." I turned around and went outside. I sat on the porch. I couldn't call Cody. Or Zeke. I couldn't have Charlie sit on my shoulder and chirp happily in my ear, as if he was telling me a story. I stood up. My arms were freezing, yet I still went into the yard. I sat on the tire swing we had in our front yard and swung. I leaned my head back. The cold air bit my face as I swung up. My hair flew around my face as I swung down. The front door opened and my mom appeared, holding a phone and coat out. I stopped swinging as she walked over to me.
"Someone wants to talk to you." She said. I took the phone from her and put it to my ear, not asking who it was.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Ray?" Zeke's voice asked over the phone. I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. Mom patted my shoulder and handed me the coat. I put it on and she walked inside.
"What do you want Zeke?" I asked him.
"A chance to explain." He said. Suddenly, the weight of the bracelet he had given me felt like a thousand pounds.
"What is there to explain, Zeke? You... you cheated on me. That's all there is to it." I told him.
"No, Ray. That's not all there is to it. Please let me explain." He pleaded.
"Fine." I said.
"Alright. Hold on." He said and hung up. I pulled the phone away and looked at it, astonished that he hung up. I put the phone in my lap and felt the bracelet. The familiar grooves, the flowers that lined the braids. I swung the tire slightly when Zeke's car pulled into my driveway. I watched as he got out, wearing his jacket, a T-shirt and jeans. He walked over to me with his hands in his pockets. I stayed in the swing when he stood in front of me.
"Ray..." He started. He looked up at the branch the tire was tied to, then, he turned his gaze back onto me. His gold eyes were bright. With a hint of... excitement. Then, sadness.
"Rachel. I... I'm sorry. Rebecca... she... god, how do I explain this? You had just left, ok? You had walked away to go to class or something, I don't remember. Then, Rebecca walked up to me with Jenni. 'Did your little lap dog leave you, Zeke?' She asked me. I glared at her, you know? Then, she was all like, 'You know, I could be a much better girlfriend, Zeke. Remember all of the fun times we had?' I shook my head at her. 'No, Rebecca. I don't. I remember you being a clingy bitch.' I told her. Them, she scoffed and walked away. Well, that night, Danny convinced me to go to a party with. To be his wingman, right? Well, I got a few drinks in me. Then... Rebecca showed up and basically dragged me to a room. She gave me a drink and I don't remember anything after that." He explained. I looked at my bracelet and slid out of the swing. I stepped up to him and looked up at him. His eyes lit up with hope.
"Don't you think its a bit... coincidental that that's the case with every event like this?" I asked him. He sighed and deflated. I turned to go inside. His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. I froze and faced him.
"Zeke. Let me go." I told him. He shook his head.
"No, Ray." He told me.
"Zeke, let me go!" I yelled.
"No, Ray, no!" He exclaimed.
"Please Zeke." I pleaded.
"No, Ray. I can't let you go." He whispered. I looked up at him.
"Yes, Zeke. You can. I'm not your girlfriend anymore." I told him. He threw his free arm out.
"You didn't even listen to what I said, did you?" He asked.
"I did. I did, Zeke. I just don't believe you." I said. He stared at me.
"You don't believe me." He repeated.
"No." I shook my head.
"Why?" He asked. I laughed scornfully.
"Because. What you told me, it's what happens every time a guy cheats on a girl. The guy gets drunk, screws a whore and doesn't remember anything." I spat.
"Really? Oh, ok." He hissed.
"Why are you getting mad at me? I'm not the one who cheated!" I exclaimed. Zeke narrowed his eyes at me.
"I told you. I didn't know what was happening. I don't remember anything after that." He told me. I jerked my wrist out of his grip.
"Right. And I never loved you." I whispered. He gasped quietly and drew back. I stepped back, getting away from him. He stared at me with an unreadable look on his face.
"Goodnight, Zeke." I told him.

Another chapter finished! Yet, another chapter closer to the end... either way you want to look at it. ;)