23 Acceptance

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Warning: Sensitive material below!

It's been a few days after being tied up. Calum is really nice to me when I obey him and gets upset when I don't. I have been planning on my suicide for the past few days. Should it be in secret or in front of him? I need it to be a statement so that the Kingdom's can get a fair warning that I was right about him all along and they need to be careful with him. I know I am planning on leaving this world, but I still feel guilty when I look at Calum happily smiling at me like we will be together forever. I wonder if he thought about this ending?

My room is the only place I am allowed to be in alone when he is talking with important people for business. I have a solid plan that I will enact tonight, in a few hours to be exact. I am extremely nervous about dying, terrified actually. I don't want this, but it is the only thing I could do to escape from him. I am more worried, however, for my Mother and my Kingdom. How will they fare without me?

I wander out of my room and head for the room Calum is busy working in. He would be furious at me when he finds out I had left my room alone, but I could probably try to sweet talk my way out of it. I find his door and press my ear up against it to hear any talking. It is silent in the room, meaning that the people he was meeting with earlier are gone now. I gently knock on the door and walk in. He is staring down at a file and glances up, bored. When our eyes meet, a smile is instantly on his face.

"My Queen! I have been so lonely without you." He says. He will be more lonely after tonight.

I put on a smile and walk up to his desk. "As have I." I roam around the desk so that I am by his chair and sit on his lap which he eagerly allows. "Can we have our meal in our room?" He loves it when I say 'our.' I put my head on his shoulders and he wraps his arms around me.

"Of course. Anything you want." He tells me. I nod and let myself drown in his attention.

That night he led me back to our room and waited for dinner to arrive. The maid came into our room and delivered my last meal to me as I asked. Steak: The perfect meal that requires a sharp knife to cut through. We had set out a small blanket on the ground and ate on the ground. We had small banter until I let silence take control of the room. He seems on edge at my unwillingness to talk.

"Are you alright?" He asks me. It's now or never.

"No." I say with closed lids. My hands tighten around the knife and I can feel his stare on me.

"Talk to me, love." He says to me. I can feel him leaning closer to me from the front.

"Stop." I order him. He freezes still and stares at me. His eyes are darting back and forth from mine, trying to read me. Before he could detect anything, I put the knife to my stomach. I am not strong enough to pierce through my ribs to my heart and I don't have the guts to slice my neck or wrist and let myself bleed out or potentially let Calum have enough time to save me. This is the only way I can think of.

He is terrified. His body is shifting back and forth, deciding if he wants to risk it and grab me or stay still so I don't stab myself yet. "Y/N." He is shifting his eyes up to mine and back down to the knife like if he doesn't watch the knife, it will go in me. "Please don't do this."

"I can't take this anymore, Calum." I tell him. I'm unhappy being in this rollercoaster of what he calls 'love.'

"Why is that, love? Please put the knife down so we can talk." He is composed when he speaks so he doesn't upset me. I keep the knife to me and his eyes start to glow orange. I tighten my grip on my knife and see his eyes turn back blue before he looks upset. His eyes start flashing orange and blue before he freaks out. His magic must not be working. He may be too upset in this situation to have control of his magic.

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