The Irreplaceable Me

And then...

Oh, Dania... How can I explain that I've fallen in love with your boyfriend? Or better still, how do I hide it from your ever-knowing eyes? Maybe I am too obvious. Maybe the "And then, I met you" was too much. But my status told everyone to ignore that part which I suppose only made things worse... I've never been in love before and told myself I never would because I've seen what it does to people like you. The way you check your phone every second, expecting a text you'll never get. The way your eyes get all watery whenever thinking about him or smiling. You know that that smile was originally for him. He knows it too and he misses it. He likes the fact that your music style is changing again, developing like your emotions. 

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get it right. No matter how much I try to be like you, he just won't see me the same way. And, basically it's only because nobody could ever be like you. Nobody on this small dreary world could actually come close to what you are.
I try and I try to become the girl that you were. Paying interest and repeating everything he tells me. I'm more optimistic because of him. I see the world differently because of him. I want to be you because of him. In reality, I know... I know that he still loves you and cares about you and won't be able to stop. Even when I pretend to believe you when you tell me he doesn't, I know he does. It's all he does really. You're all that floats through his mind. Well, not all but you've kind of possessed him. He has no way out. That's why he's using me. I'm your replacement but can't seem to come close to anything you were or are or will be. I'm your replacement but all he wants to do is message you. The you who won't message him much anymore because you're... Bitter? Angry? Moving on? Jealous? Self-righteous? Discombobulated? 

Well, look, I'm the one who is most perplexed here. You have it so much easier than me because at least you're not falling in love with your best friend's ex-boyfriend, the ex-boy-of-your-dreams. It's brilliant that you're not having to fight back any feelings that you shouldn't be feeling. I'm genuinely happy that you're coping so much better than me. Maybe that's why he can't get over you. Because, Dania, you're the strongest girl I've ever met and after endless trying, I still can't seem to be able to replace you.

And then...