Show Them What You Can't Tell Them

Can Dreams Be Realized?

BIM, and others Alexis talked to online, kept encouraging Alexis to come out openly to his mother. They kept saying it would be fine and that she would understand, but he also heard harrowing tales of gender-variant boys being grounded, or sent to military academy-style camps that tried to toughen boys up, and religion-based therapy groups that helped gays realize their masculine identity. Those real-life stories made dreams of falling down stairs seem minor by comparison.

BIM had told Alexis that he needed to find a way to visit the T G Dress Shop at Fashion Towne Mall. This supposedly was a place that could help Alexis communicate with his mom. "The sooner the better," was BIM's frequent remark.

     >BIM: 'u need to get to the store and just walk in'

     >Lexi: 'What then'

     >BIM: 'Tell sales girl you like pink ;)"

     >BIM: 'she will know how to help u'

     >Lexi: 'How'

     >BIM: 'Help you show ur mom what ur afraid to say'

     >Lexi: 'Afraid of moms reaction'

     >BIM: 'u said u wanted to drop hints'

     >Lexi: 'Big risk'

     >BIM: 'What do u have to loose? Any happiness you could ever hope to gain if you don't?'

     >Lexi: 'True What if she makes a scene?'

     >BIM: 'Won't in public. IMHO store owner knows how to handle that anyways'

     >Lexi: 'Catch hell at home'

     >BIM: 'Not 2 B urself is hell 2'

Week after week BIM had been encouraging him. Alexis's problem was getting his mother to drive him to Fashion Towne, then getting her to follow him into a girls clothing store. Today sounded like his first chance, and maybe the only chance he might have for a long while.

Looking up from his breakfast Alexis asked, "Who called?"

"Aunt Sandy. I'm going shopping today, okay?"

"I'm coming with you."

"Well, okay. Go get ready, and hurry up."

Alexis quickly put his dishes away in the sink, raced upstairs and rummaged through his clothes. What to wear to the mall was always a challenge, but especially today.

A pair of slim- cut jeans, stylish belt, a bright pullover top, and canvas hightops shoes seemed to work. These were boy clothes, but the least masculine he could find.

As he followed Mom into the garage and hopped into the car, she asked him, "Are you sure you really want to go shopping with me again?"

"Yes, I do."

"All I was planning to do at Fashion Towne was to look at the women's sportswear. A couple stores are having a sale. I want to look for a new pair of running shoes. I'm happy you want to go, but are you sure?"

"We don't go to Fashion Towne very often. I'll just follow you around. It's fun watching you shop." Alexis paused. "Maybe we can wander a bit after? See what's new on the east side of the mall," he suggested, planning to steer his Mom down the east wing of the mall, get her in front of the T G Dress Shop, then suddenly go in, assuming she would follow.

Risky, but he had promised BIM he would give it a try. He hoped that BIM's advice was right. Would getting mom in that store really work wonders? And  what would he say to Mom if she objected? This seemed more complicated than a game of chess.