A Recipe for Evil

Relationships

"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." William James

Relationships, sometimes, they evolve so fast that we never really get why they changed. Most of the time, we tend to believe that others are to blame for it which, without being completely false, isn't exactly true.

Many factors contribute to such transformations. For one, in a relationship there are always two people. Those two people bring to that relationship their personalities and their own personal background. They give and they take, mostly the latter, because relationships are usually formed by want.

Sometimes, we form relationships to receive affection or to know that there is always someone we can count on. It could also be for a more obviously selfish reason like to promote a career or it could be for something that could seem selfless at first like helping someone but, even in that scenario, we still gain something out of it, the gratification of feeling useful.

However, a relationship is not only composed of two actors. There are also minor parts to the play that takes place between two people. These minor actors have an influence on a person's mood, on a person's way of thinking, and on their general behavior.

Finally and most importantly, environment strongly affects one's behavior and, in consequences, his or her relationships with others. Amy knows how this last factor can have a major impact on how people interact with one another. She knows it because she, herself, doesn't act the same way as she did months before. Environment changes people, environment makes people. Amy is the same, but she is different, her life is different.

What she does not understand is what had made her relationship with Myriam seem to shift the previous night and it makes her so anxious she feels sick.

It drives her crazy not to understand what happened the previous day. She knows her anxiety is not due to the fact that she likes Myriam because she despises her. It's simply that she has come to realize that she depends on her. Everything in Amy's life is define by her obsession with her and without it she is lost, she has nothing, she is nothing.

Amy has spent the entire night tossing and turning into her bed, trying to find in what way she had failed. She knows that the fact that she spend at sleepless night is stamped on her forehead. She is tired, she feels awful, her steps are heavy, and she knows that she probably looks like a character from a Tim Burton movie.

It's probably for that reason that she finds herself violently stomping the floor as she rummages through her locker, trying to find her biology book. She does not know how she could have lost it when her locker is so perfectly organised. She is so tensed that she almost jumps out of her skin when she feels shy fingers brush against her slightly exposed midriff.

"Hey," Myriam says with a soft voice and Amy has to hold out a scream.

"Hi," she replies, harshly.

"Do you want some help?" A guilty smile is dancing across Myriam's lips.

"I don't need your help," Amy hisses.

"You sure? 'Cause you look like you picked up a fight with your books and lost it." Myriam mocks her, leaning against the closest locker. Her darks eyes seems lighter than the previous day and bit uncertain. "What the fuck did you do last night? You look like you're having the worst hangover ever."

Amy sighs, closes her locker, and presses her forehead against the cold metal. She has most probably left her biology book at home. She slowly lets her eyes slide to the side to stare into the other girl's awaiting gaze.

"Are you really expecting me to forgive you just like that? You didn't even have the decency to apology."

Myriam gapes at her. She blinks a few times and frowns, bringing her hand to her chest in an offended manner.

"Apology?" She blurts out, sounding confused and irritated. "What the fuck? If there's someone who should apology here, it's you. You were the one acting like a total bitch."

Amy straightens up and turns to face the raven beauty. She is speechless. None of this make sense. Myriam has to be completely insane if she truly believes what she has just said.

"Bitch?" She asks, venom slipping through her voice. "You stood me up, completely out of the blue, to engage into sexual intercourse with a guy with whom I've never even seen you have any interaction whatsoever."

"It's your freaking bitchy attitude. It pissed me off." Myriam purses her lips. Her nostrils flare and she shakes her head from side to side.

"What?" And, then, Amy realizes what has ticked the other girl off. "Myriam, not everybody likes to flaunt their anatomy to others the way you do. You should respect that. As a friend you should respect me."

"You could have just told me that instead of acting shitty," Myriam replies, eyes narrowing.

"While I do admit that I might have spoken to you in a harsh tone of voice, you're reaction was completely disproportionate."

Myriam stays silent, pondering her affirmation. Her features soften and she rolls her eyes playfully.

"Look Miller, you were wrong, maybe I was too, but let's just forget about this and move on."

Amy nods impassively, but she isn't going to forget this soon. The brunette's attitude is completely unacceptable. The hurt, maybe the rejection, she might have felt at her words does not excuse her deplorable attitude. How does she even manage to make friends with such a hot temper?

Myriam beams, pulls her in a hug, kisses her on the cheek, and stays there for a few seconds breathing softly against her skin.

"You smell good," She whispers before backing up, her hand still remaining on the actress's hip and her head resting against the nearest locker. Amy notes that her eyes are twinkling and it makes her nervous.

"You smell like cigarette," She counters. "Could I borrow your biology book? I forgot mine at home."

"Sure," Myriam interlocks their fingers and pulls her down the hallway. "I stole a pack of cigarettes from Patrick. The guy deserved it 'cause he was a damn lousy fuck."

Fearful people part on their way. It's ironic how not so long ago she would have been the one running away from the raven beauty's path. How things had changed since then...

"You're locker is so far from mine. Maybe next year we could find a way to be side by side," Myriam tells her as she opens her locker and searches through her mess. She finally pulls out a dismembered book. Amy takes it cautiously, afraid the pages might fall out and spread all over the floor.

"How kind of you Myriam to let me borrow this thing..."

Myriam laughs and closes her locker.

"Well, uhm, it's the only one I've got."

Amy flips through the pages. The book had been completely vandalized. There are drawings everywhere along with a few old messages from Melissa here and there

"So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me tonight after cheer. We could go to a park or something."

Amy looks up from the open book in her hands. Myriam is staring at her. She seems confident, indifferent, but Amy knows she is nervous. She makes her wait because she deserves it, but for the sake of her plan, for the sake of her sanity, she cannot say no.

She accepts half-heartedly and a large smile spreads across Myriam's face.

"Cool," she says, squeezing Amy's hand. "See you later then."

Amy clutches Myriam's biology book against her chest and walks toward her class. There she is selling her soul to Satan, for what? She doesn't know, maybe for revenge, maybe out of vanity...It all seems to mix up in a confused blur, making her wonder if she is beginning to lose her grip on reality.