Chapter 19 - Bright is the Sun

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"TAMARA!" My name being shouted in my ear jolted me awake. I sat up quickly only to feel my brain slide along my skull and hit the other side with a thump.

"Oh wow, my head." I moaned and was met with a dry chuckle. Saizo sat on his heels next to me, holding a cup in his hands. He thrust it in my face, it smelt awful and my stomach lurched. I pushed it back. Saizo forced it into my hands.

"Drink." He commanded, "All of it."

It was clear he wasn't going to move till I did so. I took a mouthful, it was vile. I screwed up my face.

"All of it." He repeated.

"I hate you." I croaked weakly, looking into the cup. I took a deep breath and made myself down it in four great swallows. "Ack!" I almost spat, wiping my mouth, my face twisted in disgust. For a moment I thought my stomach was going to reject it, but then it settled.

I pressed a hand to my temples, passing back the cup. Saizo stood up – his boots sounded so loud on the floor I groaned again. He dropped my clothes onto the bedding and I took the hint and started dressing, trying not to make any sudden moves. I drew my knees up and let my head fall on them, I didn't want to stand up. My boots appeared next to me along with Saizo's feet. I daren't look up, my brain would hit my skull again.

A hand appeared – to be fair he lifted me slowly, I probably would have thrown up on him if he hadn't. He handed me a roll of something. It was a cloak, no emblems, and of a lighter weave for the summer.

"A gift from Yukimura." He supplied

"Oh." Was all I could manage.

We really were leaving, my heart began to feel heavy at the thought. After sashing my katana I looked around the room and echoes of events here drifted past me. Saizo's hand landing on my shoulder made me jump and my head thumped in protest. He spun on his heel towards the door.

The sun was unbearably bright, reflecting off the courtyard as we walked to the Main Hall. "Ow!" I complained, squinting and putting a hand up to shade my eyes. I obviously wasn't going to get any form of sympathy from Saizo, and as we entered the Hall, my stomach recoiled at the smell of food.

Completely ignoring my discomfort, he strode ahead, leaving me to join him at my own pace. Looking around me I saw quite a few of the men looked as delicate as myself, some even worse, and the Hall was much quieter than normal. Yukimura looked positively ashen and I groaned again as I sat next to him. We stared at each other with perfect understanding.

"Thank you for the beautiful cloak." I said softly. Confusion creased his brows before he slightly shook his head as if trying to remember.

"I knew it would suit you." His voice was husky. I'd never seen him like this, despite his frame and who he was, he looked kind of cute at that moment.

The food in front of me announced itself, and after the first few mouthfuls I began to feel better, at least it took the ghastly taste away from whatever Saizo had made me drink. Just as I was starting to relax and feel a bit more myself, two hands appeared under my ribs and lifted me to my feet.

"Do try to keep up little lady." Saizo said from behind me.

"Damn it....!" I started, but what was the point? I would only be cursing the remaining air. I sighed, dreading going back into all that sunlight, but there was something I wanted to pack and bring along.

I clung to as many shadows as I could find and went to my room. From all my time here one thing was truly precious, the stunning hairpin Saizo had given me. As I tucked the small box into my top, I stepped slowly around the room one last time. A host of memories flashed before me and I had to back out of the door before I started blubbering. I slid the door shut, as if ending a story and went to pack my other things in Saizo's chambers.

He threw a bag at me as I entered; already he had packed for me it seemed. My other boots were neatly strapped there too. He whooshed past me saying nothing and I guessed we were headed to the stables.

Lord Yukimura cut across our path, looking brighter. He snagged my arm as I passed, neatly bringing me around him. "We go this way." He firmly kept me to him as we headed off in a new direction. He escorted me towards the castle gates, then ducked left. We climbed a series of steps, emerging onto the castle wall.

The scenery was breathtaking. I could see the training grounds, woodland, mountains, I kept turning and looked down into the keep and back around to a beaming Yukimura. "It's stunning!" I exclaimed. I tried to take a mental panoramic snapshot – I never wanted to forget this view.

Yukimura's face collapsed into sadness and he hugged me close.

"I will miss you Tamara." His voice broke a little.

"Lady Tamara." I corrected him, and we both laughed. "We should go." I said, feeling my own tears threaten again.

On our way back it dawned on me that the only horses I was really familiar with were Saizo's, Yukimura's and Lord Shingen's own mounts, I seriously doubted I would be doubling up with Saizo all the way to Iga.

The sound of horses' hooves approaching stopped us both and I turned to see Lord Shingen leading a group of retainers, he was leading a tacked up horse. He jogged into the courtyard and circled me. My God he was impressive, my heart couldn't help skip a beat as he passed round me a second time. He dropped the reins of the horse he was leading next to me, then dismounted and strode over. I looked up at him completely confused.

Shingen cupped my chin in his hands, holding my gaze.

"For you, this way you can never forget me, he is brother to my own." His eyes sent affection, "If the fates are with us I will expect you to return to us Lady Tamara, there will always be a place for you here. You are Takeda." And with that he walked away, leaving me staring at the magnificent horse beside me.

Ryo appeared with my bag and strapped it securely behind the saddle. I touched his arm to stop him leaving. "You have the recipe?" I asked him and he nodded, "See you soon." I said and he almost fled back towards the stables. I paused to take a last look around the courtyard, Shinshoni was on the verandah outside the Main Hall and she bowed as our eyes met.

"Have we finished wasting time?" Saizo said in my ear. Bloody Hell, even his horse is part ninja, I didn't hear either of them approaching.

In less than a minute we were out of the gates in an easy canter, heading into woodland. I gritted my teeth, determined not to cry.

"It's just the wind making my eyes water." I lied to myself.

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