Chapter 9 - I'm Not a Lady

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This time I had no choice but to accept the kimono Shinshoni returned with after firmly ordering to get out of my wet clothes. It weighed a ton, but the layers were comforting to my skin and soon warmth returned to my feet and hands.

I felt like a doll.

I took a moment to look at the overcoat whilst Shinshoni finished sashing it to me. It was stunning, the heavy silk was almost black, but shone brilliant blue as the light moved across it. White cranes flew in flocks within the blue, sweeping around the kimono. The socks and sandals were weird but comfortable, and after re-doing my hair away from my face, she beckoned me to stand up.

Under all that fabric I had no idea how to move.

She showed me how to lift the skirt and walk, so I went to do the same. On the very first step I trod on the hem and fell in a heap. Shinshoni burst out laughing, then gained some control, looked at me, and set off again. She clutched her sides, unable to stop and I found myself giggling in return. The both of us stopped, looked squarely at each other for a second, but I saw her lip tremble, which set us both off again. Gasping, she managed to help me back on my feet, and this time I made sure the hem was clear of my step. Then I had a bright idea.

"My katana!" I pointed, "The obi will hold up the hem better"

"Ah" She said, and then wrapped me.

The sword felt good, wearing one familiar thing helped my confidence a little. She looked me over and said:

"What an odd combination"

"That's me." I grinned back.

I would never be as naturally elegant as her, but I could at least stay on my feet. The outfit forced you to move carefully and focus, there was definitely an art to it. Shinshoni made it look effortless. I sighed heavily, but she didn't seem to notice, and linking arms we went back to the Main Hall.

Everything stopped as we entered.

We had been chatting comfortably, but now my blood ran like ice. There was complete stillness – total silence – every single eye bored into me from all sides. Shinshoni squeezed my arm.

"Walk tall Tamara." She whispered, as the sound of our feet was loud on the boards. I was focusing on my next step, determined not to trip again. Shinshoni stopped in front of her father, which gave me my first opportunity to look up.

Takeda Shingen was looking down at me with a peculiar expression, somewhere between predator and smug. We bowed and moved towards Yukimura who was totally frozen in place – bowl in one hand, chopsticks in the other, his bright blue eyes wide with surprise. He coloured slightly, then put down his bowl, offering a hand to help me sit next to him.

"You're .....beautiful, Tamara." He gushed in my ear. I frowned, I felt like a total clumsy idiot. I heard Lord Shingen say something and the Hall returned to dining. A fresh tray of steaming food appeared and I fought the urge to dive in on it. I didn't want to damage the kimono, so I forced myself to eat slowly and carefully. It took me a while to realise Saizo wasn't there.

"Saizo has left the building." My mind randomly offered, and I giggled out loud.

"What?" Yukimura leant in so fast we almost knocked skulls.

"Nothing." I lied, still unable to stop smiling.

"You should smile more often, it suits you." I didn't have the heart to tell him that tears were much closer than smiles for me. "Go to Saizo's private chambers when you are finished here." Yukimura said standing up and walking away.

I felt like I'd been slapped in the face. Private Chambers? Alone? A trickle of cold sweat ran down my back and suddenly my appetite had gone. I longed to return to the stables, but this outfit denied that avenue of escape. With that I set off to find out where Saizo was.

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