Prettiest Boy In Town (a Joshler fanfic)

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Hey guys! HAPPY (late, again) NEW YEAR! Let's hope 2017 is a lot better than 2016 for the world, though 2016 was amazing for me personally (saw loads of bands, met so many band members of bands I am such a fan of, found new music, FINALLY started studying media design after eight years, which has been my dream since I was 10 years old, planned amazing new concerts for 2017, made new friends, got even closer with my best friend, booked hotels with friends for concerts, bought amazing new TOP merch, saw TOP four times this year only, met Josh and Tyler both, saw how Josh liked my art on Twitter, got noticed by several artists and really cool people I'm a fan of because I created art for them, wrote so many chapters for my fanfictions and one-shots, got so many ideas for new stories, and had the pleasure of talking to YOU ALL and reading all of your awesome, funny, touching, sad, happy, hurt, angry and sweet comments, and saw my fanfics become so popular, I never dared to dream of this!!)
So I wanna thank you all, and I hope you're gonna have the best year ever!

Of course, also bad things happened. I lost contact with some friends who meant, and still mean, the world to me. My granddad died, one of my favorite artists Christina Grimmie died, had countless of fights with my dad and witnessed so many between my parents, that I'm not even sure for how long they'll be married anymore, stress and anxiety made me skip so many classes and full days, even weeks, of my previous school, etc.

But other than that, I can say that I've been happy.

It's the first year that I can say that I've actually been happy. I am happy.

I've suffered from depression since I was eleven years old, but it started around 10,5 years old. Anxiety was the first thing, then depression joined. Got suicidal even, turned to self harm and smoking and sometimes even used weed to suppress my happiness, though you should never do that. But I found purpose in music, in my amazing favorite bands. In going to concerts and festivals. And I removed all the bad people from my life. I removed my toxic, mentally abusive ex-girlfriend out of my life. And honestly, a whole load of weight fell off my shoulders. Met my best friend, who I love dearly. I started to become happy, careless. I felt free for the first time in my life with her and my music, without my ex girlfriend. But I was in love with sadness at first. Felt like I couldn't be so happy, like I had to be sad. I needed to be sad between the happy parts. Caused my own breakdowns because I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy, because my ex-girlfriend was always jealous and irritated when I was happy. But I fought through it, I told myself that yes, I deserve to be happy, and if someone tries to take that away from me, they're not worth it.

Some people say depression will never go away.

But it gets better. It really gets better, I promise. My depression faded away. Slowly, maybe, yeah. And sometimes there's still a breakdown. But it surely did. And I know that lots of you are struggling. But believe me: it gets better. It does! I promise. I hope you believe me after reading this small story about me.

I love you all. Thank you for being here. Thank you for voting and reading and commenting on my stories. Thanks for sharing them with friends. Thanks for following me. Thank you for making my account a lot more popular. Writing is one of the things that helps me so much when I feel bad, together with my music and my best friend. You help me. Each and every one of you. Thank you for that.

I love you all.

Stay alive.