Penitent - on hold

Chapter 7

''Do you want anything else, honey?''

The moment I stepped inside of the kitchen, I was hit with an aromatic smell of all the food my mom has made. Seeing every single thing that was on that table, something that could feed at least ten people, looked so tasty and by the look my mom was giving me, I could see she was just waiting for me to come down so I could dive into it. I immediately felt guilty because I didn't have an appetite at all. Ever since what had happened yesterday in the school, I was barely able to do anything, especially eating.

''Uh- oh geez, mom, you really shouldn't have...''

''Nonsense!'' She interrupted, ''I haven't done this in a while so I thought why not? And I know how much Zach can eat so...''

''Z-Zach?'' I stuttered. He wasn't coming today, he couldn't. After what he said, I doubt he's going to ever talk to me again. And he didn't even look fazed one bit because of it. Not one fucking bit and that's what hurt me the most.

She looked up at me again, ''Yeah, isn't he going to pick you up for the school?''

What was I supposed to say to her now? I can't tell her what happened. The strength that required such thing was non-existent at this point, but I also knew that lying won't get me anywhere.

''Well, um...'' I tucked one small strand of my hair behind my ear, ''you see, he had a practice this morning earlier. So yeah, he won't be able to come.''

I absolutely hated myself for lying to my own mom, but she can't know what's going on. Not only because I'm not able to talk about it. Zach's father and my father are probably the biggest problems here, since they want their kids to find their soul mates. Zach is the only male in his family who can rule this pack after his dad and I'm only Beta's child so it's an understatement we are the following leaders of our pack.

''Oh,'' She looked a bit bewildered, ''in that case, sit down and help me finish this.''

''Actually, I have to hurry. You know, since Zach isn't driving me, I should leave right now so I can make it.''

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Mother eyed me, as I was acting very suspicious. I was hoping so much that she doesn't start asking me questions I didn't want to answer, ''Are you okay, Sally? Has anything happened that I should know?''

I rolled my eyes, just to put up a bit of an act, ''Seriously, mom? What's there for you to know that's making me feel not okay?'' 

So much, mom, so much.

She was still looking at me, her eyes piercing into my soul like she was going to find out what's up with me. In that moment, I felt tears reaching for their escape but I fluttered my eyes a few times, calming myself down just so I wouldn't start crying in front of her. It'd bring her more pain than it would to me.

''Alright,'' I heard her say, ''but at least bring some of these. I won't be able to eat it all myself.''

I nodded my head and went to take something, just to satisfy my mother's needs before I gave her a kiss on the cheek and left the house.

*        *        *

It all felt extremely weird. My day wasn't supposed to go like this and it was making me nauseous. I saw Zach a little while ago... He was standing near the lockers, laughing his ass off because of something Trenton had said. In that moment, I couldn't help myself but smile at him. If he was happy, then I couldn't be sad. This was true for him too, but it seemed like he was being better off without me. Instead of reaching them and joining their conversation, I hurried down the hall in hope that they won't see me.