Penitent - on hold

Chapter 4

This didn't make any sense. None of this. My best friend could not be my mate. A mate, to a werewolf, is supposed to be someone who is your other half, someone who fills your soul completely and in every possible way. It's someone you die with and for. It's someone you spend your mortal life with. It's someone you have feelings for and I'm not talking about friendly feelings who later on turn into something more. It's something you feel right away, just by the single touch or even by the way their voice sounds.

That's what my mother thought me. That's what every werewolf creature has yet to experience, if not already. I can't say I don't love Zach because I do. Besides my parents, he is the only person I love so much and there are no words in this whole world I can describe such feeling with. This wasn't supposed to happen. 

Looking at Zach's dark eyes, which were even darker in this place without much light, I could see he was thinking the same thing. He didn't want this. Not only me but the whole mate thing. If there was anything he despised in his life, it's every single thing that was connected to him as a werewolf. I knew damn well that he did not want a mate, at least not now. He wanted to live a normal life. As a human, not a werewolf. 

And it seems like I, the only person who could understand and support him, am also a person who took all of those dreams away.

I'm so, so stupid.

I waited for him to say something, anything really, but he was as shocked as I was. The moment I opened my mouth to say the first thing that could come to my mind, he cut me off with his words.

''Your room. Now.''

There was really no room for arguing, so instead of doing so, I followed his long steps as he made his way through the huge mass of people, who were dancing in my living room. Zach wasted no time, as he took two steps at the time, making my job harder because my legs were pretty short for someone my size.

Because of the safe caution, I kept my bedroom door locked so if anyone here wanted to get in, they couldn't. I simply didn't want anything broken or worse - have some of these people touching my personal stuff. You can never know what's on their minds at the time.

When Zach was sure I was the only one in my old bedroom, he slammed the door shut and locked it once again. I couldn't quite comprehend what was he thinking about or the way he was feeling, but I knew he wasn't happy with this sudden realization that hit both of us. At all.

He breathed heavily, as he sat on the top of my bed, where the both of us shared so many memories over the years. I will never forget every single one of our sleepovers. At our first sleepover (the one I remember, that is) my parents told us a tale about the rogues. It was the first time we heard about that term and the thought of the abandoned werewolves, that were violent and ready to kill in the matter of a few seconds, made Zach and I verbatim scared. So since that night, when we would end up laying down and be ready to sleep, he'd swing his long arm around me and bring me as close as possible, saying and I quote This way, no rogue will hurt you. And I slept better than ever.

Right now, I feel like all of that will become a dull memory of the two of us together.

''Why are you not talking?'' He whispered, but loud enough for me to hear him.

I made a few steps towards him, still keeping my distance, ''I-I don't know what to say.''

My childhood friend sighed, his head deeply burrowed in his palms, ''I can't believe this is happening.''

I can't either, I wanted to say but made no sound. Zach was... Zach was Zach and there wasn't anything I could do about it. He wasn't that kind of a guy who was really into some girl and even if he was, that didn't last long. So how can I expect something, anything from him? If I'm being realistic, and I am, he was the most handsome guy I've ever met. He can have any girl he wants. And if anyone gives him a chance to meet the real him, they'd wish they had met him sooner. Because Zach may seem like a jerk or a guy who doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone, but he's far more than just a guy who's only pretty from the outside. The fact that we've been friends for so long demolishes the chance of us being something more. It's like you're on one step with a person and years are passing by and all of a sudden, fate decides to push us on the completely new level. That's not how it goes.