Invisible Home

Chapter 18

"eve! we're going to be late" mom called from the bottom of the stairs

"good, how about we just don't go" i yelled back. i was sitting on the floor of my bedroom doing absolutely nothing but wasting time, it was my first appointment with daisy and i did not want to go at all, but mom didn't care.

"get down here now, or i'll come up there and drag you to the car" she yelled again, i remained where i was.

shortly after she ran into my room and picked me up, carrying me out to the car. she then child locked the doors and strapped me in tightly

"was that really necessary?" i questioned

"yes, i don't trust you" she stated seriously

"gee, thanks"

"i have my reasons evelyn" i rolled my eyes

the car ride was boring and i would have jumped out of the car had mom not locked the doors. she came around and opened my door for me, then quickly grabbed my hand, i guess so that i wouldn't run. well i guess nobody said i had to talk to daisy, i'll just sit there for an hour.

"evelyn lovato?" a young woman with shoulder length straight blonde hair called, mom stood up and pulled me with her.

"demi is it okay if i talk with evelyn alone?" mom hesitated before nodding and giving me the eyes

"hi evelyn, i'm daisy" she held her hand out and i ignored it

"do you have a nickname you would like me to call you?" again i ignored her

"i can't help you if you don't cooperate"

"okay, well i'm going to get demi then" she left the room shortly to return with mom, who looked disappointed. she sat on the couch next to me and i leant into her but she moved away, obviously upset with me.

"demi, why do you feel evelyn needs to be here?"

"she's been struggling for a while, um" she paused for a moment taking a deep breath

"she's suicidal, and doesn't eat, she's not been diagnosed but i know she's anorexic" she took another breathe

"and i'm afraid that she's going to die, i don't know what to do anymore, she's so ill" a tear fell from her eye.

"i'm, i just, i need a minute" mom said getting up and leaving the room. i put my head in my hands, silently cursing myself for hurting her like that.

"please let me help" daisy said, i looked up at her, her eyes said trustworthy. i'll do it for mom.

"i want to die"

"how often do you feel like that?"

"every day"

"would you ever act on your thoughts?"

"yes" daisy wrote something on her notepad

"will you act on them today?"

"i" i paused, i couldn't answer because i didn't know, there was part of me that feels so bad that i do want to act on them tonight, get it over and done with. what if she thought i was crazy, what if she took me from mom, we may not be on great terms but i can't leave her.

"no"

"are you sure?" i nodded, suddenly becoming concerned with moms whereabouts

"can we find mom?" daisy nodded. i went out to the bathroom and she wasn't there, she wasn't in the waiting room either. i looked outside and her car wasn't there. she just left, like that, she left. she doesn't care and i was stupid to think she did, she just convinced me here so that she could drop me off and never see me again

"evelyn?" daisy called, i pushed past her and ran to the bathroom quickly locking it. i had brought my blade and i don't have anything to fight for anymore.

"evelyn?" daisy asked from outside the door

"i'm fine, i'll be out soon" i lied, hopefully she believed it.

"eve, baby? please come out" that wasn't daisy and it wasn't mom. i had cleaned up about 15 minutes ago and i was just sitting here, and being curious i decided to go out. given the way they spoke i already knew it was dallas, i was just confused as to why she was here. i opened the door and dallas immediately wrapped her arms around me.

"how about we continue for the next thirty minutes?" daisy said, i looked to dallas and she nodded holding my hand

"so you liked to be called eve?" i nodded leaning into dallas, she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer

"demi said you don't eat, do you think you're fat?" i shook my head

"i know i'm fat"

"how do you feel when you gain weight?"

"like a failure, a fat failure. i feel like giving up"

"dallas is it?" daisy asked, dallas nodded

"do you live in the same house as eve?" dallas nodded

"what would she eat in a day"

"nothing, if anything she'd eat under 400 calories per day" dallas said sadly, making me flinch at how blunt she was being

we talked like that until the session was over, she definitely thought i had anorexia and gave dallas the number of a dietitian, under some influence that i want to get better, which i will make very clear i don't

"baby, demi called me, extremely upset, she's taking up the hotel offer with georgie. i'm so sorry" i felt numb, she left me, she fucking left me. i banged my head against the window and dallas stopped the car

"evie please stop that" i continued to bang my head against the window

she got out and came around to my seat unbuckling me, then proceeding to pick me up and sit me on her lap, on the side of the road. she held me and let me cry into her shoulder

"why is she doing this dally? why doesn't she love me anymore?" dallas held me closer

"she loves you baby, she's just afraid, and she doesn't like it so she runs, i promise that she'll rest up and come back just like normal" i sighed

"let's get home and snuggle okay?" i nodded and we got back into the car and drove away