The car ride home was silent, Dallas had a firm grip on my hand the whole way probably scared I was going to do something. We got out of the car and I hid behind Dallas still holding her hand
"is she mad?" I asked in a quiet voice as we neared the door, Dallas turned around and bent down to my level
"listen closely" I did what she said and could hear someone loudly sobbing
"is that momma?" Dallas nodded sadly
"c-can you go first?" I asked her quietly, she opened the door and walked up the stairs into mom's bedroom, while I waited outside her bedroom door
"i-it w-wasn't h-her, was it?" Mom sobbed, I couldn't face her, not after what I had said, but I also couldn't leave her in pain
I ran into the room and wrapped my arms around her
"baby? Oh My God, babygirl!" she sobbed wrapping her arms tightly around my body
"I was so scared don't you ever do that again!" she said sternly pulling out of the hug, then wrapping her arms back around me, I looked up and she gasped
"your eyes! what happened" I shrugged and mom looked to Dallas for answers
"she scratched them, they had her restrained after it" mom ran her fingers under my eyes sadly
"Baby, please don't ever do it again, I can't lose you" she said hugging me tighter
"I'm sorry momma, I don't hate you, I love you, I'm a monster" I sobbed into moms chest, Dallas gasped
"She spoke! The hospital said she hadn't spoken since she arrived" she said cheerily
"Baby, you aren't a monster, why would you think that?" I looked through my pockets and found the note handing it to her
After she had finished reading she had tears down her cheeks
"babygirl, you will never be as bad as Agatha, ever. When you hit me it didn't even hurt, and I knew that it wasn't you, you were upset and that's how you reacted, do you remember how I reacted, when Dally took it off of me?" I nodded sadly
"you grabbed a pill bottle, you said you'd take them all if I didn't give it back" Dallas said sadly
"but you didn't, because I was there, you said you couldn't, you said you couldn't leave me" Mom nodded
"because I couldn't baby, I love you, you kept me alive baby, you are so special" I shook my head
"your Lovatics kept you alive, Maddie kept you alive, all I've ever done is burden you"she kissed my forehead
"babygirl, why would I adopt you if you were going to burden me? I adopted you because from the day I stepped foot in that orphanage I fell in love with you, no one else, I fell straight in love with you, my beautiful babygirl"
"but why? I am nothing, just another piece of trash along the highway. I'm not good enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, never good enough! I don't want to be alive anymore" a tear ran down my cheek
"it hurts mommy, make it stop it hurts!" I cried, she held me closer
"I know baby, I know" she rubbed my back, Dallas turned around and left the room
"Ev, you are good enough and I wish you could see it. At first when Demi adopted you I wasn't sure about it, as I knew she wasn't in a good state of mind, but when I saw how she looked at you, when I saw how happy you made her I knew she had made the right decision, she had a sparkle in her smile again, her eyes weren't as dark, she looked happy" Marissa said rubbing my back
"I'm going to help you fight this baby, we are in this together"
"Don't" I put my hand over Marissa mouth as she was about to sing the song from high school musical
"I will literally murder you" I said glaring at her before removing my hand
"we're all in th-" I glared harder at her and she stopped singing
"please don't kill me" she said throwing her arms in the air
"you are lucky I didn't saw your head off, I hate that movie!"
Marissa quickly scurried out of the room to join Dallas, leaving mom and I alone
"were you going to do it?" mom asked softly
"yeah, it just hurts so much momma" I said burying my face back in moms chest
"I know babygirl, I know it does" I lifted my head
"I don't want to live, I don't want to live!" I screamed whilst tears ran down my face, I tried to wriggle out of moms arms but couldn't she had to tight a grip
"please let me go! Please, let me go!" I screamed again trying to get out of her grip
"I don't want to live! let me go!" Mom laid me down and pinned me to the bed, I was still fighting to get out of her grip
"Mommy let me die! Please mommy, please let me die!" I wailed, she shook her head
"DALLAS! MARISSA! HELP ME" she screamed.
Dallas ran in and grabbed one of my arms and one of my legs, whilst ran in Marissa and grabbed the others
"baby, babygirl" I shook my head and started screaming
"baby, come on baby" I continued to scream
"calm down babygirl, please calm down" I didn't stop screaming
"EVELYN! BABY! please calm down" My screams ceased into sobs
"that's it baby, let it out"
"mommy! I want mommy!" I wailed thrashing against Marissa and Dallas grip again, mom put her hand on my forehead
"I'm right here baby, I'm here" she said whilst stroking my head
"mommy, mommy I want you" I whimpered trying to move my arms
"shh baby, calm down, Momma's here, I'm right here"
She nodded at Dallas and Marissa, they let my arms and legs go and I launched myself at mom, still sobbing, she rubbed my back and kissed my forehead
"please don't ever leave me mommy, please" she held me tighter
"I'll never leave you baby, ever"
YOU ARE READING
Invisible Home
FanfictionInvisible at Home, that's how I feel. I am drowning. I can't find any air to breathe, it's like I'm the last living thing on my earth, and there is only enough oxygen left for another minute. Every minute passes, the feeling never goes away. I am...
