Diary of a Dead Girl.

Dear Chris,

     I love you.. Didn't see this coming? Yeah.. neither did I. I know this is pathetic but at  about 3 AM, I often find myself writing to you. However, this is the final late night letter I will  write  to you,  the difference is; you will actually read this one.

     By the time you are reading this, I will be dead. But if things didn't work out, and somehow someone finds me in time; please put this down now. After all, this cant be a suicide note if I'm still alive. If you're still reading, congratulations, I am out of this world. Forever.  You may be wondering why.  Why did the girl down the street end her life on such short notice? I'm sure many people are asking the same question.

     It's funny how the life of someone doesn't matter to much anyone until they've perished. So let this be a lesson to those who attend my funeral, my memorial, or leave their last messages on my lifeless facebook wall saying "RIP we'll miss you," you wont, or at-least your wouldn't. If I had left stone-bridge in a way such as having moved or transferring schools, their very words would have been "thank god the bitch is gone" your memories and thoughts of me wouldn't have been scared over, damaged, or indifferent in any way.

     But now that I have left due to tragedy,  people start to speak up. My peers will begin to care, whether or not they actually cared for me in the first place. I can't deny it, the same thing happened when Annie passed of cancer.. she was hated, until people discovered the inner-battle she had been suffering for years. Or when Ashley went to rehab for bulemia, no one knew, and when she left us, we all.. including me, began to suddenly care.  So why is that? why does my suffering have to become public for the public to listen to my cries.

      Let me make one thing, and only one thing clear, none of this is is your fault, or the fault of the bullies at school, this is no ones fault but my own. I could've kept fighting, but it just wasn't worth it anymore. Attached to this letter is a copy of my will. In the 3rd section, highlighted in blue, you will see everything I left for you. Nothing here is of any value but sentimentally. There is a reason I left this box for you, just one; I want you to understand. I want you to understand my life and why I ended things the way I did. This is my final wish, I hope you decide to honor it.. even if it is tough. 

Sincerely, 

Analise