The Dream That Was

Dream - 1956

The winter of 1956 changed everything in Sandford's life. Athena was diagnosed with stage 4 leukemia, and the doctors did not have much hope for survival. After learning of her illness Athena was permanently hospitalized. Sandford visited daily, and the children visited every second day. It was hard for both Athena and the children. They would cry whenever it was time to leave. After they left, Athena would weep in silence.

It seemed that being in the hospital hastened her illness. She would always ask about how things were back at the house, and about the fields.

In the lounge at the hospital were old pictures of the areas surrounding Brampton. One of the black-and-white photographs was of a field. Underneath, the caption read: A FARM IN CHINGUACOUSY TOWNSHIP

Whenever she felt strong enough, Athena would go to the lounge and stare at the picture. In the distance was an old farmhouse. It was too far away in the photo to tell, but she figured that it might be her own house. Many of the farmhouses in the area looked similar, so she would squint and try and see if there was something that would reveal itself to prove that it was indeed her house. She yearned to be home. She needed to be in contact with the land that she felt so attached to. Being away from her home sucked the life right out of her.

In the spring Sandford made a decision to bring Athena home. She wasn't getting any better, but at least he knew she would be happy at the farmhouse. He set up a bed for her in the living room where she could look out over the freshly emerging cornstalks.

After a long day of farm work Sandford came in to spend time with his wife. She was very pale and her hair was all messy from sleeping most of the day. He sat on the bed next to her.

"Do you remember that night when we were sixteen and talked about how this house would be ours," she asked.

He closed his eyes and remembered the exact moment when he told Athena that he loved her and he wanted to fix up the old house to live in when they got married. It seemed so long ago now, and they seemed so young and innocent. Their lives were ahead of them and it seemed like nothing could get in the way of their dreams. That was the same year when they started planning the utopian city. They actually believed that they could build a new city that would be perfect. In the face on his wife's illness and eminent passing, he wondered if such a perfect city could ever exist. Was there any point to trying to create perfection, when he felt like there was no reason to go on living without his wife.

"Sandford?" Athena spoke.

"Yes dear?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, just that silly old idea we had to build a city here."

He looked into her eyes, which had become a paler blue since she had fallen ill. He put his hand in hers. It appeared as if her bones were pressing through her skin as she had lost a lot of weight. She looked at Sandford and murmured:

"Never stop dreaming, Sandy. Never stop dreaming."

He loved it when she called him 'Sandy'. The way his pet-name rolled off her tongue made his heart flutter.

Athena suddenly broke into a wracking gasping cough. Sandford's mind filled with worry. When she pulled her hand away from her mouth he could see that it was smeared with blood. Small droplets dripped onto her white bedding.

"Oh God, Honey," he moaned under his breath.

He started to get up to get something to clean the blood, but Athena motioned for his to stay sitting.

The room fell silent and he could hear the wind beginning to pick up outside. The birds still were chirping and the sun still was out. It had been a beautiful day. Athena looked outside for a long time without saying a word.

She looked out at the fields and the small sprouting corn plants. Their tiny leaves were flickering in the breeze. She paused to listen to them. It was always hard to hear what they had to say when they were this small. Finally, she heard them speak. It was as if they were calling her. "Athena", she heard them whisper. "Come to us". She felt very calm and at peace. It was like she was in a dreamlike state. Then the pain unexpectedly vanished and she could feel only numbness. At that moment she understood everything. She turned back to Sandford and said:

"Make our dream a reality Sandford...Never forget where you came from...I love you."

"I love you forever," he responded.

With that she closed her eyes. The wind from outside began to blow with an unwarranted strength through the open window. On the table beside Athena's bed was a pile of papers. He didn't notice until now, but they were some of the drawings they had made years ago of the utopian city. A gust of wind caused them to fly about the room. Sandford followed them with his eyes and noted how beautiful they looked floating about. He then noticed something had blown in from outside and landed on the windowsill. From where he sat he could see exactly what it was. It was a piece of tape. Scrawled with his wife's writing was the word urbia.

When he looked back at his wife she had stopped breathing. It took a moment for it to register. Sandford at the same time noticed that the wind had suddenly stopped. The birds were no longer chirping. The whole world had become silent.