She Breathes the Stars

Chapter Thirteen

That night, after about an hour of relentless tossing and turning, Nite excuses himself to go turn up the heat in the cabin. It becomes warm enough that I have an excuse to hold onto him tightly as we sleep, portraying it as a necessary action to cool myself down. The warmth of the pillows mixed with his cool skin is just enough to distract me from what's going on outside of the blankets, and he doesn't seem to mind one bit.

"One...Two...Three..."

Nite's tone is drowsy and sleep-laced as his cold fingers stroke against the skin of my back like fluttering feathers. His palm presses softly and his index finger brushes along my spine, counting the bumps there as if he were counting sheep. He traces my goosebumps with care, treating my skin like a map he has yet to explore while his other hand cradles my head against his chest. There, I can listen to the lull of his rhythmic breathing while my own fingers grip onto his tear-soaked shirt. My ear presses against the fabric while being soothed by the even tempo.

We are something of a mess, but I find it unbelievably beautiful.

"Four...Five...Six..."

When was the last time someone held me like this; so gentle and kind as if I were going to break. Have I ever been embraced this deeply, or is this the first time that I've ever felt treasured in my life?

Nite moves to wrap a long leg around both of mine, pulling our bodies closer so he can bury his face in my unruly hair. I feel his nose pressing against my scalp; cool breath drifting over the curly hairs. I shiver.

No, I've never been loved like this before.

"Tawny."

I nuzzle my cheek against his shirt to let him know that I'm listening.

He brushes the hair away from my face; fingers lingering against my temple. "I don't want you to ever feel like you're a waste of space, Tawny."

Ba-dum.

My heart skips a beat and I lift my head to look at him. His dark hair is splayed out gracefully and contrasts nicely against the pristine white of my pillow. His gaze is locked to the spot on the ceiling where his glittering breath rises and then dissipates; his dimple popping out beautifully on his cheek. He looks so relaxed and at ease that I have the urge just to trace his lovely features with my fingertips, but I can't.

I hide my face against his neck. "How'd you know?"

He shivers at the feeling of my breath on his skin and I smile, taking enjoyment in the newfound effect I have on him.

"Hm?" He murmurs.

"How do you know that I feel like that sometimes," I clarify, fiddling with the end of his shirt. "That I sometimes feel like a burden to other people?"

He hums and draws spiraled patterns on my back with graceful touches, as if creating a masterpiece for me to decipher. His hands are cool; the sensation sinking through my very being and turning me into a melted puddle against the mattress.

"Your body language makes it very apparent," he speaks softly. "But you could never be a burden towards me, so you shouldn't worry about things like that. Never be afraid to be selfish around me, okay?"

Beautiful things can often hurt you, Tawny, Dream-Nite had once said. That's why you must not get too close to them.

You're better off alone, Ms. Flora had said.

You have no right to be judging me right now, my sister had hissed. "You've been alone for so long now..."

I pull Nite down and press our foreheads together, tightening my fingers around his shirt and feeling his breath ghost across my cheeks as he lightly gasps. Just a little; I can get away with just a little...