My Covert Bodyguard

47: Time

"It's so different from what we do now." I noted.

"Well, technically, we are doing the same things as Sloane. We steal from and infiltrate the government. What we're doing is no more illegal than what we did then." Aunt Helen dropped her voice, "but I think we both agree when we say what we're doing is in no way morally correct."

I nodded. Aunt Helen and I always spoke like this—glimpses of rebellion in between seemingly normal conversations. We had grown closer, conspiring together and all, but perhaps because of our generation gap, or how she had been raised, it was hard to click with her. She just seemed so serious all the time, and sometimes I felt like the things she thought were profound.

"Darling, I think it's time." She said, and I whipped my head to her.

"You mean..." I trailed off, wanting to hear it out of her own mouth.

"I think it's time for you to start recruiting people."

I took a small intake of breath. This is what I had been waiting for. Keeping in such a big lie was eating me alive.

"I can tell people what I'm here for?"

Aunt Helen nodded slowly. "But be very, very cautious, dear. One wrong person, and your entire cover will be blown."

My mind started running through every single person I'd met since coming to the Legion. I immediately thought of Ollie, who I knew wasn't very loyal to the Legion, and would love to see Roselle get a taste of her own poison. I thought of Lei, who I knew was loyal to me, but also to the Legion itself. I thought of Trevor, who I thought was too easy going to have given it much thought. I would have to investigate further. And Niko... he was so devoted to the Legion, but he also cared for me.

"I trust your intuition, but tread carefully. You need people for this cause, but the people won't come easily."

Even if Aunt Helen and I weren't from the same generation, we still had the same main purpose in life right then. And I trusted her intuition probably way more than she trusted mine.

The idea that this was all a game, and Aunt Helen was telling Roselle and everybody else everything I had been saying had crossed my mind multiple times. It kept me awake at night sometimes. But her story, my guess that there had to be someone on my side, the corruption, everything checked out. And I had already plunged head first into the dark. There was no flying back to the window of certainty now.

* * * * *

February 20, 1832

I have to say, these past months have been the best of my life. I have accomplished more than I ever have, and what's more, I think I am in love with William. William always supports me, even when I am going off on my tantrum, yelling at him even though he is not even the cause of my frustration. I get so angry when abolitionist men do not let me help simply because I am a woman. And when I am fuming and screaming, William holds me, and listens to me, and tells me how much he agrees with me. Yet I just cannot convince him of the necessity of violence when it comes to this revolution. He is a pacifist, and I love him for it, but it is also his hamartia, I believe. I want to marry this man, yet I do not know how I can do that while I am running the Scarlett Legion without his knowing. I feel guilty for hiding something I know he would ardently oppose, but I cannot leave behind this organization; I cannot stop fighting for what I believe.

I rolled onto my back, clutching onto Sloane's diary. Everything she said rang a sense of validity, courage, and pride in me. She was such a badass, intelligent feminist, and she was related to me. It brought in me the ambition to overcome the Shadow Legion, not for the Office, not for Kyle, but for the Scarlett Legion, what Sloane had worked so hard to achieve.