A Counseling Catastrophe

Chapter Four

Nettlebounce: *taps loudly on her computer, clearly in the middle of important business*

A client wanders in, a ginger tabby dressed in pounds of make-up and a very skimpy hot-pink skirt. They seem to be incredibly pretty, with beautiful blue eyes

Nettlebounce: *looks up, unamused* Can I help you? Name?

Client: Slashscar

Nettlebounce: *surprised* Oh, uh, right, Slashscar, you're put down as a she-cat here, but your voice is deeper than my psychological issues

Slashscar: *coughs* that's what I'm here for

Nettlebounce: Right... *checks him in* Feathershine will see you shortly

Fireheart: *looks to Slashscar* IS THAT YOU... TIGERSTAR

Slashscar: ...

Fireheart: YOU LOOK FABULOUS, FABULOUS ENOUGH TO KILL FOR YOUR SINS AGAINST THUNDERCLAN

Feathershine: *opens door blindly* Slashscar- OH FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE FIREHEART

Slashscar: Who's Tigerstar?

Feathershine: I do apologise ma'am, take a seat in the office

Slashscar: Thank you

Feathershine: *heavily confused* what's with the voice?

Fireheart: IT'S TIGERSTAR IN DISGUISE

Feathershine: *throws Fireheart in a box* don't worry about him, he's a little nutty

Slashscar: I figured

Feathershine: What can I do for you?

Slashscar: Well, all my life I've wanted to be a she-cat, but my body is so masculine that I could never pass as one, despite my eyes and fur. I dress up as the most feminine of she-cat's in public, but somehow my voice gives it away

Feathershine: No, I never would've imagined a voice lower than my self-esteem could belong to a male

Slashscar: I want to be able to live my life as a she-cat, who I truly am! I want a tom as a mate, I want to be treated like a she-cat, but I don't know where to start!

Feathershine: Change your identity, fly to Australia, order seventy tonnes of helium

Slashscar: Huh?

Mottledleaf: *comes in with bucket* sorry, I've got floor cleaning

Feathershine: I'm in the middle of providing amazing advice!

Mottledleaf: What seems to be the problem?

Slashscar: I want to be a she-cat, but I don't know where to start!

Mottledleaf: Well, make sure your closest friends and family know that you want to be referred to as a she-cat, explain that this is what you've always wanted, and if they love you, they'll always be supportive

Feathershine: cAN YOU NOT

Slashscar: What about finding a mate?

Mottledleaf: I'm sure you have toms swooning over you with the way you look, and if you like any of them, make sure you explain to them your situation, and if they accept you, there's nothing stopping you from forming a relationship

Feathershine: dO YOU MIND

Slashscar: Thanks, you made everything better :)

Petalpounce: Pizza!

Feathershine: Oh thank StarClan MOTTLEDLEAF SHOW HIM IN

Enter Petalpounce. He observes the scene and takes one look at Slashscar, and his breath is taken away. He stands awkwardly holding boxes of pizza as his heart pounds

Feathershine: Thanks, you can go now

Petalpounce: S-Sure, s-see you

Slashscar: :)

Petalpounce: *heart explodes*

~Hazel was here~