Infinity .:Joshler:.

15

i fell asleep next to Josh after we washed his sheets (oops) and woke up during the night with terrible dreams. one of them was of when i ran away, which already happened. another of my siblings being left alone with my parents and me not being there, which also already happened, and the worse one that kept coming back: me dying.

i'd wake up screaming to those ones and Josh would hold on tightly to me and he would whisper sweet nothings until i fell back asleep. but now i was fully awake and i feel bad about waking Josh up so many times during the night.

"i'm sorry," he was starting to get up to grab some clothes as he knitted his eyebrows to my apology.

"what?" he asked.

"i'm sorry for waking you up so many times,"

he pushed it off with a swipe of his hand, "its fine Tyler, okay? now i've gotta go take a shower then get ready for school,"

"care if i join?"

he smiled a little, "no, i have school. i can't waste any time,"

"well i'm coming to school too,"

"oh no you're not,"

now i was the one with the knitted eyebrows, "huh? of course i am! it's school."

he started to count out on his fingers, "you've been gone for a week, you tried killing yourself, you've smoked weed and cigarettes, and haven't showered or ate until last night. you, my friend, are taking a break."

i stuck my bottom lip out and watched as he walked into the bathroom. when he closed the door fully and locked it, i rolled my eyes and plopped back down onto the bed with a grumble.

///

i waited all day in his bed for him to come back home. to hear the front door unlock. to hear his footsteps come up the stairs. for him to only step one foot in the door and myself going to engulf him in a hug. and when i finally heard that front door click, i dropped my ukulele on the bed and was fully up on my feet, sprinting down the stairs.

"Josh!" i shouted but quickly stopped in my tracks when it was his mother, Laura, and not him. she stared at me as i did the same and my face started to flush pink.

"uh..hi?" i said but it ended up sounding more like a question than a greeting.

"hi Tyler," she said with a small smile, but obviously still uncomfortable from the situation i caused. stupid.

"sorry i've just been waiting for Josh..and i kinda thought it was him,"

she waved a hand, "no it's okay, i totally understand."

she began to head over to the kitchen as i went back up the stairs to Josh's room, taking steps two at a time. i waited 15 minutes at the most. then 10 more. then 5 more. i stood up and went downstairs to his mom cooking in the kitchen as the sun started to go down.

"hey, Mrs. Dun?" i asked and she replied with a simple, "mhm?" without looking away from the chopped-up vegetables in the boiling pot.

"where's Josh?"

"i don't know, actually. did you try to call him?" i nodded. just as i did that, the door slowly opened out of the corner of my eye. i looked over and saw Josh creeping in with a hood over his face. raising an eyebrow and about to speak up and say 'oh he's here now', he put his index finger to his lips and pointed upstairs with his other hand. i nodded slowly and watched as he crept upstairs, quickly and quietly without a single creak. of course, he's done this before. for me. he would know where all the creaks are in the floorboards.

"uh, okay, well i'm gonna go back upstairs to try and call him again," i said as i turned around.

"okay, when you find out where he is, tell him to hurry home, dinner is in an hour."

i made a 'cluck' sound with my mouth to say 'will do' before running up the stairs, the creaks following, and into his room. the door slammed shut behind me when i stepped inside and a hand slid over my mouth.

"hfut te ell?" my voice was muffled so he removed his hand and i said it again, "what the hell?"

he took down his hood and my eyes went wide. his once pretty face, which still is, was full of blood, bruises, and cuts. his nose was leaking blood like a faucet, his hair was matted to his forehead with sweat and blood, his lip was split open, a bruise under his right eye, and a cut on his cheekbone leaking blood also.

i pushed him over to the bed and he raised an eyebrow, "i'm all full of blood and sweat and you want to have sex now?"

"no you idiot, sit down and tell me what happened."

"are you sure?-"

"Josh."

he sighed, "all day i was getting looks from people, judging me. i remember i was one of the last people to get my stuff and leave at the end of the day. i went outside and when i got to my car, someone tapped my shoulder. i turned around and was knocked out, then when i woke up, a good 2 hours later, i was laying in the parking lot with a small puddle of blood laying by my head. i didn't know what was going on.

"then someone said something once i was stood up and said, 'didn't think you'd wake up this early'. i didn't know if it was someone at school or not but i ran all the way here."

"from the school? you ran all the way here?" i asked with wide eyes again, knowing it was on the other side of town, and he nodded, "what else was i supposed to do? stay there and get beat up even more?"

i pursed my lips as he went on, "i left my car there and i'll drive it home tomorrow-"

"you're going back tomorrow?"

"yes Tyler, i'm going back to school,"

"so i'm not hurt a bit and i can't go but you're bleeding everywhere, and obviously need medical attention, and can go to school? that's not fair," i crossed my arms now and looked down at him.

"life isn't fair Tyler,"

"did you even see the person? or people?"

"it was just one person. i can't explain what they look like,"

i sighed again, obviously upset, "you said you didn't see them, now you're lying to me? what else are you keeping from me?", he stood up now, "can you calm down Tyler? i'm tired of you not letting me talk,"

"you don't know anything about it so what are you going to say?"

he pursed his lips and i turned around. he mumbled something under his breath and i sighed, "what?"

"it was your dad."