Captain Swan - The Writings On The Wall

Walls Up At All Times

Authors Note: Sorry, I skipped this chapter at first... oops...☺️

Emma came into work, the hospital walls covered in Christmas decorations and drawings done by the children. The last few days, she had helped decorate for the party and the large Christmas tree with presents that were donated for the kids. Some of the gifts, Emma had gotten with Killian a few weeks ago. Every year they would make donations to the homeless shelter and buy toys for the kids at the adoption agency and the hospital. It was something they always did together.

"So, is Killian coming to the Christams party tonight? Or are you still not talking to him?" Ruby asked Emma as they walked down the halls with Elsa after they had changed into their scrubs.

"No, I told you. We're taking a break until we hook up with other people."

"Emma, why do you always do this? Killian is like the perfect guy with the biggest heart and you keep shutting him out," Elsa told her.

Emma's features fell at that.

"I know, I just... after he left, I just felt too ashamed to face him. Besides, he's much better off with someone whose not going to hurt him."

"Yeah, remember the last time you pushed him toward another woman? He ended up with a broken heart," Ruby reminded her.

"Of course she does. She's the one who picked up the pieces," Elsa added.

"Okay, guys, no need to gang up on me. Besides, Milah made him happy."

"Emma, you need to wake up and smell the freaking roses. You make him happy. Don't you get it?" Elsa asked her.

"I make him happy as a friend, okay? We're better off as friends. I'm not good at relationship stuff, you know that. I'd just end up with a broken heart and a bunch of his old t-shirts."

"Emma, we're talking about Killian. Your best friend who would die for you a million times over before he would ever hurt you."

"Yeah, and that's the problem. I don't deserve him. And I would just push him away and then I would lose him for good."

Elsa sighed. "Emma, have you ever thought that maybe your insecurities are what's holding you back? And maybe if you stopped letting your fears control you, you could be the person that Killian deserves?"

Emma was silent after that as she considered what her friends were saying.

"I know, but this is who I am. Even if I knew how to change, I don't know that I can."

"Why don't you start by just wanting to?" Elsa asked her and they left it at that as they split up to start their rounds.

*****

Six months ago...

"So, um we probably shouldn't tell anyone about this. It's just better that way," Emma said as she stood in front of him, putting on her bra and panties as he pulled on his boxers and pants. He gave her an appreciative look that made her blush as a small smirk curved her lips from the orgasm she had just experienced with her best friend. It was something she would never forget. She always knew that he had a nice body, but being able to experience it pressed against hers with mind-blowing pleasure coursing through her body was something that she would always keep cataloged in her memory.

"As you wish, love."

She retrieved his shirt and cell phone and handed them to him.

"Thank you," he said as he set his phone on the bed and put on his shirt.

"Here, let me help you." She stepped closer to him and started to button his shirt up.

Just touching him created sparks throughout her body and she had to keep reminding herself that he was her best friend and not a guy she just had sex with. She adjusted his collar and threaded her fingers through his disheveled hair to tame it and made the mistake of looking into his eyes. Those familiar ocean-deep eyes that were now looking at her in a different way. Those eyes that had seen parts of her that they had never seen before. It was like their friendship was somehow more special now that they had experienced the one thing they had never done together. She snapped out of her gaze and started to turn around before he put his hand on her arm to stop her.