Who am I?

Chapter 11.

After Vanessa left me alone in the guest room I got out my laptop and opened up a blank document, letting the words flow out of me. I wrote about everything, love, hate, acceptance, but most importantly I wrote about the new wall that was placed in my life. I wrote about the pain that it might cause and save, I wrote about the Mirandas, and I wrote about Hamilton. When I looked back up at the clock I realized that I had been typing for hours. I guess I really do write like I'm out of time. Deciding that I should get a little sleep before the morning I shut down my laptop and snuggled into the giant white comforter, breathing in the smell of clean sheets.

For the first time in a while, (or was it only a couple days?) I woke up on my own time instead of either some bus stop guy or a crazy Spanish speaking Broadway star. This allowed me to lay in bed a little longer before pulling my sleep weighed body out of bed and into some random clothes that were in the top of my duffel. I then started to stumble my body out into the kitchen, hoping that I could find some breakfast as I was starving from last night. It was there that I found Vanessa with a stubborn Sebastian fighting with her over baby food. Now just imagine a fully grown woman trying to talk reason in to a one and a half year old. Let's just say it didn't work too well.

"I don't think debating the pros and cons of mushed up carrots will get him to eat it." She turned to look at me in surprise, maybe slightly shocked that I woke up and wasn't dead in her guest room.

"I tried bribery, it didn't work either." I had to laugh, the little guy seemed just like his father. God help them when he becomes a teenager.

"Whelp, I don't know what to tell you, maybe he is on strike against carrots." I felt so at ease here, it was an amazing feeling. It was also a feeling that I unrealistically wished to never leave me.

"So last night Lin and I were talking," I sucked in a breath, completely forgetting about the talk they had last night. "and we had a couple ideas about possible plans of actions, but we wanted to talk to you first to see what you wanted." She looked over her shoulder at me in question, obviously hoping for some sort of answer, or at least an 'I'll think about it.'

"Um, I guess I'll have to think about it. I mean I know I don't have very many options at the moment, but I don't want to make this decision to quickly." She nodded in understanding before giving up on feeding the little Lin and got up to face me.

"So Lin had to go back to the theater this morning and I am about to head out to the office so we shouldn't be home until later tonight. On the way to work I have to drop off Seb with my parents, and I could take you over to the theater too, Lin told me he wanted to show you around properly this time." I thought about what I could do today, either stay at home and be bored, or go to the theater where I could possibly write with a hell of a lot of inspiration.

"Do you think he would mind me being there? I mean would I get in the way of anything?" She laughed a bit at this, as if the thought of me getting in the way was a foreign idea.

"God no, he would be thrilled." And so with that we were off to the theater.

So, here I was, standing in the lobby of the theater for a third time. This time Lin was meeting me here and had known about me coming in advance. I had brought with me an old backpack that Vanessa said would be okay for me to borrow. In the bag I had a couple of pens, my laptop, headphones and charger.

"Marti you came!" I turned at the sound of my name to see Lin running around the corner. It took me a second to take in everything that was the great Lin Manuel Miranda at work. He was wearing a ruffed up pair of blue jeans that were paid with a simple ink stained tan sweater. It was his hair that really made the outfit though, it looked as though it originally was put up, but now at least half of it had fallen out and was now hanging on his shoulders. His almond eyes were twinkling with either excitement or caffeine, and my best guess was both.

"I said I would." I laughed at his appearance, making him look at me in question before brushing it off and grabbing my arm, dragging me behind.

"Okay, so I have only told the cast the basics, you know my estranged daughter showed up at one of our shows, then left to go home, then came back and is now staying with me. I figured you could decide if you wanted to tell them the rest. They are super trustworthy and a huge part of my family, and in that case that makes them a huge part of your family, or at least I hope they will become one." I guess we are a lot alike when he's high on caffeine. My body couldn't decide if I was excited to meet the cast or completely terrified.

"Lin," I whispered out, body deciding on terrified. I guess he heard the fear in my voice because he quickly shut up and gave me his attention with concerned eyes. "What if they don't like me?" With this he gave me his best puppy dog eyes, letting go of my arm to wrap me in a giant bear hug.

"Ma nina, they will love you just as much as I do." I felt my breath catch and tears gather in my eyes. Did he really mean that? As if he could hear my thoughts he pulled back and looked into my tear filled ones.

"I mean that Marti, I really do. I love you more than I ever thought I would." At this point the tears were falling freely from my eyes and I watched as his own got a little cloudy. He reached up his hands, cradling my face with them while wiping away the tears with his thumbs, stroking over my cheeks. Once my face was dry he pulled me into another tight hug kissing my forehead as I always imagined a father would before his head on top of mine.

"Now smile ma nina, you are about to meet a beautiful family."