You know what really hurts the most? That fact that you were always there. The fact that you said you'd always be there for me whenever I needed you. You said you'd never leave and you said you'd always love me. When did that change?
When did you start to hate me?
When did that turn into you leaving me?
When did that become you forgetting all about me?
When did you stop caring?
And why do I still care about you?
Why do I still love you? Why do I still want you? Why do I still hope you'll eventually want me again? Why did you say you were different than the others who hurt me when you went and did the same?
Why do I stay up late wondering what I could possibly do to get you to at least look my way with the same expression you had before?
Why is it that everytime I get a text, I'm hoping it's from you saying that you still care about me?
What did I do to deserve all this heartbreak and pain?
No. I know what I did. I know why you're gone. I know I'm terrible. I know I'm worthless. I know I'll never amount to anything and I know how little everyone cares.
I know I have no right feel this way. I know I have no right to care about you anymore, either. I know that I'm stupid and I know that I hurt you. I know how much pain I caused and I know that I deserve everything I'm going through plus more.
But despite all that I know absolutely nothing.
Nothing but pain.
BINABASA MO ANG
Suicidal Pain
Short StoryThis story is just the words that come to mind on a daily basis that I'm too ashamed to say verbally to anyone I know, so sorry if it's not something you enjoy.
