LUX

1. My World, My Mate

In a young pups life they always dream for the magical moment where they meet the soul that was specifically made for your soul. Throughout our lives we're told about this moment, how we should save ourselves, how we should be there everything. We grow up hearing love stories of the elders around us, We grow up waiting for this very moment. I was no different.

A newly shifted werewolf waits for this faithful day, a day the moon as specifically planned. A young, juvenile, naïve wolf cannot wait for a moment so very special.

I waited for this moment since my first shift last year. I watched celebration after celebration go by and watch what few friends I had go off with their mates. I envied them, they had what every pup dreamed of.

My father wouldn't dare allow me near the mating celebrations with the other packs, he insisted that I was unworthy of any man. I was a mistake, he would tell me, a mistake from the moon that he would never force on anyone else.

So I continue to watch more mating ceremonies go by while my father keeps me locked in the house to cook for the celebrations. I cook dinner while males and females meet their other halves. I bake cakes while wolves mingle with their love. I clean dishes while the pack says farewell to the females leaving with their males. I dream about my own mate while they go home and complete their love. At the end of every event, I wish and hoped for what they had.

I wish many things but this is not what I wished.

Young, juvenile and naïve that is what I still am.

My entire life I have heard harsh, awful and rude things about myself from my own pack, from my own family. I never believed them, they were just words. I believed that this pack was just mislead, that they just didn't fully understand. They hated me but I would do everything to love them. Love them through all the harsh words that would be spat at me. Love them while I eat the few scraps that I manage to collect. Love them while I get pushed around.

Young, juvenile and naïve.

Nothing I thought was correct. My pack wasn't misled, I was. This fairy tale I created in my head of a mate coming in and saving me from this hell won't happen. Day dreams that will turn to terrors from now on. Wishes that will turn to regrets.

I wish I would have paid more attention to my mama's words.

I met my mate.

My mate in all his glory, in all his beauty. I expected it to be a perfect moment, we would touch and we would fall for each other like the moon intended.

Young, juvenile and naïve.

He wouldn't look at me. He acted as though there was something wrong with me. He said the words to me that my father and other warriors had said so many times before. I was nothing to him, no more worth than the trash he stepped on.

"Lux," my little brother's voice fills me ears. I stare at the broad boy in front of me, my world was what he was supposed to be. Only in a few words did that world come crashing down.

"Isaac, always a pleasure." The boy in front of me looks over to my brother.

"Beta Ryan. What are you doing here with my sister?" Isaac asks.

My world, which I now know as Ryan, looks over to my brother quickly before returning his glare to me. His glare is making it hard to breath, my heart feels like it could shatter by just that angry look that he has. My breathing gets shallow and I reach my hands for it, like if my hands aren't there I will fall apart.

"Your sister seems to think that such an abomination, like herself, would be my mate." He spits.

"Lux?" My brother asks again but I am unable to answer him, the words will not form.

My world looks over to my brother and gives him a look, a look to go away. He has class, he won't do this in front of him. He won't do this in front of a future Alpha.

"I'll give you two a moment," my brother says before leaving the room.

"Please?" is all I can manage. I know what is about to come. I know the hurt and heart break that are to come with his next words.

"Such a pathetic little girl, aren't you?" he starts. He walks two steps towards me, but refuses to touch me. He wouldn't dare give in to such a bond. "a mistake, it's what you are. You're worthless, meaningless mutt. Your father was right about you." He spits.

"No!" I raise my voice for the first time in my life. "No I'm much more than whatever he says. I can be enough for you." I've found my voice, the voice I lost so many years ago.

"You're nothing! You have nothing that appeals to me." He stresses taking two steps backwards. Every step he takes back pulls at my already fragile heart.

"Ryan please!" I beg. "Please let me prove to you that I am enough. I will do whatever for you." I've hit a new low in my life as I fall down to my knees to beg the man in front of me to take me. I beg him over and over again on the floor. I reach forward to touch his hand but he slaps me away.

"Never say my name again!" He booms. The house around us shakes because of the loudness of his tone. His stare at me is murderous, fitting because he just killed everything in the inside.

"please." I mumble again, the confidence I had minutes ago, gone.

My world leans down to my pathetic stance on the floor and grabs my chin. Everything inside me erupts into pleasure just by his little touch. All of me is aware of that small section of my face. He feels the connection too, If only for a split second I saw the look in his face, the look of pleasure that I felt, but it disappeared and he was back on his mission of destruction.

"I didn't want you, I don't want you, and I will never want you. You are a pathetic little girl and that's what you will always be." He says to me before letting go of my face and the heat of his touch. "If you'll excuse me, I have a pack to return to."

"say the words." I demand. "say the words and be done with me. I need to hear the words."

He turns at my words and laughs at my pitiful attempt to stand. "No, I want you to feel this pain for a little longer."

His laugh is malicious as he walks away from me. Destroying me more with every step he takes away from me.

Around me, I can feel my entire world crashing down. I can't breathe. I can't see. I can't even stand. I feel like my entire body is being ripped apart. I fall to the floor and no one is there to catch me. I cry to myself as the one person who is supposed to be my everything, walks out of my life like I'm his nothing.

Young, juvenile and naïve.

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