Nothing Like Us || Jeon Jungkook

Part 11: Depression

"Oh, my friends threw me a surprise party, I got so scared because I thought something happened to her!"

"Wow, what great friends you have" Yong Suk said in his sarcastic tone.

"That guy who carried you out when you fainted, was he there?" He asked curiously. Aish stop asking questions, I wanna go to sleep.

"Jungkook? Yeah he was there" I said letting out a slight yawn.

"Did Jimin confess?" He suddenly asked and my eyes shot open.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

"Did Jimin confess?" He repeated.

"What do you mean by confess?" I went on.

"He was going to confess to you on your birthday" He said and I felt uneasy, memories from the past started playing in my head. No please, not today.

"Song Yong-ah, I know I shouldn't be telling you this but he likes you. He liked you ever since primary but you were too young to understand his feelings and-"

"Ok, enough!" I cut him off. I can't take this.

"Song Young I'm-"

"I said enough!" I cut him off once again and stormed to my room shutting the door ever so harshly behind me.

I fell to the ground and tears formed in my eyes and as soon as I knew it, the tears started rolling down my cheeks down to my neck.

"Jimin, why didn't you tell me earlier? I'm so sorry for not understanding your feelings, we were too young. I regretted not telling you my feelings the day you left me. I'm so sorry for breaking your heart, I'm so sorry but...it's too late now" I cried out embracing my pillow.

"You didn't know what I've been through after you left me behind" I cried even more as the memories flooded back into my mind. There was only one image that will always stay there no matter how much I try to forget it. A blade.

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"Song Young!" I heard my father call out from outside my room.

"LET ME IN!" He yelled even louder banging on the door violently.

At the age of 13 I was already cutting. Every morning there would always be a new wound on my body. At the age of 15, my parents passed away in a car accident. At the age of 16 I lost a huge amount of weight and on that same year, it was Jimin's debut or should I say BTS' debut. In that whole year, I was depressed and was stupid enough to think that he'll come back for me.

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"Song Young! Let me in" I heard my brother's voice call out from outside my room.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled back and the whole house was silent. So silent you could hear a pin drop.

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I woke up to the ray of sun shining into my eyes. I was too tired to wake up, I'm so stupid to even live. I rolled over to avoid the sun and the drawer besides my bed made me remember of an object. The blade. I pulled out the drawer and there it was. I took it out to examine it and it still had blood stains on it.

"Hello my friend" I greeted holding it up high, reflecting it on the sunlight.

"We meet again" I continued, placing it carefully on the pillow besides me. Cutting was like a drug. After a few times, you start doing it over and over again, and as soon as you know it, it has already become an addiction. I picked it up and held it back in my palm. I slowly forced my hand to meet my wrist and with a slight slash, blood starting pouring out. The pain started building up and I quickly ran to the bathroom to wash it away. It didn't pain me anymore.

"What are you doing?" A voice startled me as I ran to the bathroom. I turned to see my brother there in his apron.

"I-I need to go to the b-bathroom" I stuttered hiding my hand behind my back.

"What's behind your back?" He asked and in that moment I knew I was screwed.

"N-nothing" I stuttered again.

"Show me" He demanded and I flinched a bit.

"It's nothing, don't worry"

"Give me your god damn hand!" He growled and took hold of my wrist.

As soon as he saw my wrist, he quietened down.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He asked looking deep into my eyes.

"I-" He cut me off.

"Do you think cutting will solve your problem? Do you think harming yourself will make you feel better or something? Whatever it is that's bothering you, you have to let it go. Don't let it haunt you ever again. Forget it" He lectured and I broke into tears. He pulled me into his chest and I started crying my heart out, I couldn't stop the tears. They were too strong, I couldn't defeat them.

"I miss eomma and appa" I blurted out and I could feel Yong Suk's tears rolling down my forehead.

"I miss them too"

"Don't ever do this to yourself again ok?" He said holding onto my wrist and I nodded.

"Can we visit eomma and appa's grave today?" I asked knowing that he didn't have work on Sunday. He nodded and I forced a smile trying to make him happy again.

I walked to the bathroom to wash my face and memories of me and Jimin started playing in my mind to when we were little playing with water by the pond. I shook it off and continued washing my face. I walked out and went to my room to get ready. I went to my wardrobe and threw on a black sweatshirt with a pair of white jeans. I walked out to see Yong Suk wearing a white sweatshirt with a pair of black jeans. We siblings can never match.

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After 10 minutes, we arrived at our destination. We both exited the car and walked to our parent's grave in a calm manner.

"Eomma, appa! Song Young and I came to visit you, sorry we haven't been visiting in a while..." My brother said while I was looking down at the bunch of flowers we bought on the way here.

"Song Young is about to graduate shortly! Are you proud of her?! She's grown so much hasn't she? I wish you were here to see how much she's changed-"

"We wish" I corrected him.

"Yeah, Song Young thinks she's the smarty pants in the house these days but I think she's more like dumby pants" He said and I playfully punched him in the stomach.

After our conversation with our parents, we decided to leave for some food but as we turned around, a figure made my heart feel uneasy. A figure who couldn't keep his promise, a figure whom I hurt. That figure was...Jimin.