Post Mockingjay

Chapter 2

One Month Later

A month passed since the day when I decided to try and be a good person. Today, it has come back to hit me.

It started a few days ago. I was standing in the new doctors office they built after the rebellion. I suppose it isn't actually new anymore, but it feels that way. It was supposed to be a normal yearly checkup, which I never saw much point in, but Peeta always made me go. I knew I needed to go then, though. I hadn't even told Peeta I was going. I had been slighlty ill. Not ill enough to normally need a doctors visit, but, this was no ordinary sickness. After a few tests had been done, I hurried home. Unfortunatly, there was no rush on my case as others. I nervously paced the house when Peeta was gone and tried my hardest to cover it up when he was. Sometimes I went to the woods to avoid him. 

Then today, they called me back. They told me the words that took all my breath away. 

"Mrs. Mellark, you are pregnant!"

The doctor's voice was too cheery. He obviously did not understand the problem with this situation. I couldn't be pregnant. I had just promised Peeta to try. I wasn't expecting to be expecting. I feel to the floor and began sobbing. There was another life growing in me. One I don't think I have the strength to care for.  I carried on for several minutes when I heard the doctor's voice on the phone. 

"Mrs. Mellark, are you okay? Mrs. Mellark?" He was asking me repeatedly. I managed to compose myself enough to reassure him I was fine and hangup before I began sobbing again. My entire body was shaking. When I believed I was all cried out, I checked the time. 5:15, Peeta was probably on his way home by now, since the bakery closed at 5. I hurried up to the bathoom and erased any sign of my tears. Now I had a new problem to deal with. I couldn't let Peeta see me cry over this. I couldn't be selfish anymore. 

Sitting on the bed, I tried to compose myself. It wasn't something I could really ignore. This...thing..no, that isn't the right word, but baby doesn't seem right either, this...human...was growing inside me. Peering out the window, I could see Peeta walking down the road to Victor's Village. I still had time because, no doubt, he would stop by to check on Haymitch first. Maybe Haymitch could help me figure this out. There was no way I was going to be able to tell Peeta yet. 

There I was again being selfish. I could see Peeta walking onto Haymitch's porch. His hair was slightly tousled from work, and I can imagine he still has flecks of flour on his arms, although he was too far to see. Seeing him this far was hard enough, what would I do when he stepped into the door? I had to keep my resolve. I thought back to our first games, which was never a good idea, to when he told me I was a terrible liar. He was right about that. I don't know how I could lie. He was too good to lie to. I was only able to do so for his protection. Maybe I could lie, though. Would this protect him? It would, I suppose. He hated seeing me cry, and I most certainly would if I told him today. There. Problem solved. I walked downstairs to greet Peeta. Might as well be as normal as I could. Even though we had be married for years now, I could not get over the way his eyes light up when he sees me after work. It reminds me of how my father and mother looked at me. Instead of leaving me upset, like thoughts of my father usually did, but this makes me feel warm. That is until I remember the pain when he left me, and the fact I have a child of my own growing inside me. The fears are brushed away momentarily when Peeta takes me into his arms and kisses my head.

"Hello, Katniss. How was your day?" He asks me.

"Oh, pretty good. Same old, same old." I tell him, then add, "and yours?" 

"Much better now that I am with you." He tells me as we walk into the house. As we walk through the thresh hold I find myself wanting to break down again. This cannot be happening. I am not ready, and I will not be ready in 8 months. I don't even know what to expect. A call to my mother goes on the list along with Haymitch. The list of people I have to tell before  I can tell my own husband. I look up and notice he is staring at me. He looks concerned Have I already been that obvious? I smile reassuringly at him which seems to satisfy him for the moment.

We head into the kitchen, like always. Peeta lays his bag on the counter and turns to face me.

"So, my darling, what will it be for dinner?" He asks. Greasy Sae now works in the market that was recently built. She is getting older, but hasn't lost any of her fiestyness. Now, I make dinner when I can, but I lack cooking skills, so Peeta has been teaching me. 

"Whatever you want, my love." I toss back. I have never been one to use petnames, so I put extra emphasis on the 'my love' to give the room a joking feel. That is what I need. Peeta realizes and chuckles at me. 

"Oh, my wonderful beautiful Katniss, whatever your heart desires shall be yours!" He says dramatically, getting down on one knee and peering up at me. 

"My only wish, my heart, is for you  to have what you desire!" I respond in an equally dramatic tone before I burst into laughter. I have noticed that anything can make you laugh when you really need one, and I certianly do. Peeta is laughing as well as he picks me up and carries me to the living room. He sets me down on the couch and sits next to me. He turns on the television to some new show about cooking.

"Oh, look at our luck, just for us!" Peeta remarks as he pulls me closer. I snuggle up to him. Even if he doesn't know why, his comfort is much needed right now. On the show they are making some sort of chicken recipe. Normally, we don't eat chicken. We just eat whatever I catch on the woods. The food is fresh that way, and I have something to do while Peeta is away. I look up to Peeta and see he is intently watching the show. I chuckle slighty and he turns to look at me.

"Why are you so giggly today?" He asks me, almost laughing himself.

"I'm just happy. Happy to be with you." I tell him. The first part is a bold faced lie, but I am happy to be with Peeta. Currently, even Peeta isn't making me happy though. Is it possible to be happy at a moment like this? I don't think so. 

"Well, I am happy to be with you too." He tells me, and then places a kiss on top of my head. I almost sigh, but manage to keep it in. I suddenly feel very tired. A mix of my emotions today, keeping up a front, and -could I possibly be getting symptoms?- have made me feel exhausted and we haven't even had dinner. As Peeta watches the channel, no doubt taking note of every step as to learn how to make a new dish, I close my eyes and rest on his shoulder.

Le Disclaimer: Je ne suis pas Suzanne Collins. I am not Suzanne Collins, so i has le no rights.